omg i need to save, fuck!

fuck fuck fuck! why can i not have a thousand dollars right now.

like seriously, that's all i need. then i can buy my camera and the rest i can save for in a matter of weeks.
i currently have a rather expensive shopping list/list of things i want dearly.
not to mention christmas is coming up and i need to save for presents!!! :'(

ok, the list.

• a shit load of lace for my sewing


• creepers


• more funky sunglasses


• socks (just like mid-shin length)


• more skirts


• dresser


•  blonde curly wig


• 24" extensions because these ones are amazing but quite thin so i could make them long + short but thick if that makes sense


• fairy lights - i found them at work for cheap but they're multicoloured ones i just want white ones :-(


• over-the-knee socks, maybe with some patterns on them?


• and of course, my camera.

fuck, i need money! i hope i can get some extra shifts during the next few weeks!!

priorities and finances for the next week.

oh my god, once my boyfriends birthday is over, (it's on the 4th of August) i can begin to save again.
this week i did not earn much because i only worked one shift, so i couldn't really save anything.
i put away $15 for my phone bill but ended up spending $10 of that, so next week i'll have to put away $25 for it.

i also paid for my gym contribution, and spent $15 on art stuff for my drawings, so that's understandable for where all my money went this week.
i had about $20 left in my account after i paid all my bills and bought my art stuff but i had to put $5 on my go card because i went to brisbane on friday night. then i bought some food and other crap, so now i only have $7 left in my account.
luckily though i have nothing that i will be doing throughout the week, so it's not really a hassle that i have no money.

then when i get paid on thursday night, i have  to pay some bills.
$25 goes to my phone bill, then that's $75 left.
$6 for gym, that's $69 left.
i saw a beautiful dress today reduced from around $160 to $30 because it had a tiny lipstick stain on it, if it is still there by friday i will buy it.
then i would have $39 left.
i will probably end up buying beer or weed for the weekend and after that i will put whatever i have left into savings.
i hope i don't spend too much excess money.

it's juleyin's birthday bbq on saturday as well, and you can drink if you want to but i'm not sure if i want to.
i might ask juleyin if he wants to just go halves with a 6 pack of beer, so we'll have a few drinks but i can't be drunk at a bbq with a lot of his family there. that would be humiliating.

i hope i can put away like $25-$30 into my savings.
the week after that i am going to save $50 minimum.

things i bought today

once again, i spent about $70 on payday and now i'm left with minimal amounts for the rest of the week.
but i'm not too bothered. i bought a lot of things that i wanted and needed and i won't be doing toooooo much for the rest of the week.

it's looking like i won't be going away these holidays, that's a real shame. i need to get away and i miss brisbane, but the thing is that it's not very exciting now that everyone's over "the scene". i don't have any friends that hang in the city anymore because now we're not all stupid smoking teenagers with bright hair, and when there's no people to hang with the city is actually rather dull. i think i'd rather go stay at someone's house that i really like, and i just wish that were far away from here.
ok that makes no sense. in the simplest way put, i want to get away and have cool people to hang out with and go shopping with.

it's so sad because the coolest people i know are from twitter and blogging, and i have literally no close girl friends, or /any/ friends for that matter around where i live.
there's people at school like sophie and jaz and shawna, but jaz and shawna have this way of making me feel inferior and i think sophie hates me. but that doesn't really matter because i don't like most people.

i like people who party for a living and do stupid things and smoke weed and will go skinny-dipping with me.
that's how i met most of my friends, but now everyone is over all of that and we're left with nothing to do.

now we don't party all the time, we don't hang around shopping centres and smoke weed in parks and dye our hair while drunk and all of that shit - and i'm glad, but i miss having a fun lifestyle and i miss having things to do all the time.
i just have nothing exciting to do anymore. legitimately.

i think that's a clear indication that i should move on to hard drugs because alcohol and weed just don't cut it anymore.

 

                                                                                                                     

 

wow so off topic.

ok today i bought:

- two different leave-in treatments. i've been curling my hair lately and i hate how they go all frizzy by the end of the day so i got something i can put through it to keep it healthier and calm. one is a really good one that i can't use too often because it's really oily and the other is basically like a conditioner spray so i can even use that for when my extensions get knotty and i have to detangle them.

-  two movies. i was at blockbuster and they had those ex-rental movies for $7 so i bought Case 39, a horror movie i got out with mum one time and i also got Saw II.

- stickers and rhinestones. the stickers are self-explanatory and i bought rhinestones because today i also signed a contract to get my new phone, but i didn't get the actual phone because their system crashed this afternoon. i'll be getting it first thing tomorrow morning when i start work, the lady is so nice and apologised for the system crashing and told me she'd bring my phone to me at work. how crazy is that! oh and the rhinestones are to decorate my phone, like a boss.

- a 990ml bottle of peroxide and a 500gm sachet of blonding powder. i now have a huge supply of bleach so i can keep doing my foils. i'm pretty keen, i'll be re-doing my current ones and adding some more on tuesday probably.

- a new septum ring.

 

i think that's about it.
here's a photo of all my shit.

friday and friday night.

was pretty freakin' good.
didn't do all that much, but i really like simplistic things. i like shopping in the day, drinks at  night without too many dramas and then going home and sleeping in my own bed.
that's exactly what i did on friday and friday night.

ok so on friday i was meant to go to Pacific Fair with juleyin and some of our other friends. brodie couldn't come because he just got approved to move into a new house and had to sort out stuff to do with that, blake got called into work and we couldn't get a hold of ash so he didn't come.
i got dropped off at juleyin's around 11am and the car was gone and we had no idea when it would be back, so we had to catch a bus up. my hatred for public transport has increased even more. there was this white trash fuckwit couple who were screaming and swearing really loud, and they were trying to sell weed to everyone on the bus, including me and juleyin. they got off at Palm Beach, no surprise there. there was also some bogan ass lady whining on her phone crazy loud, having a sook about how she doesn't have a sook.
i can't wait until juleyin gets his car.

so we got to pac fair, and for the first part i didn't know what to buy. i looked everywhere for nice things but i didn't find much. for lunch i got a kebab, and then later i bought a "storm" ice cream from Hungry Jacks and a lemonade.
towards the end of the day i found some really lovely things, which made me so incredibly happy!
all day i had been searching for a pair of really nice high-waisted shorts. i didn't want to, but i was prepared to pay quite a bit for a nice pair. but even the most expensive ones i didn't even like.
but then at the end of the day i found the prettiest pair for $20! n_______n

i also found this cute beret for $10, i don't really need another one but i thought it would be cute and i could wear it with some of my red-ish outfits etc.  and for just if i don't feel like wearing a bandanna - seeing as i wear a different one every day.



speaking of which, i picked up two bandanna's, $5 each ^-^ i got a pink one and a green one.

then i went on a sticker-frenzy. OH. MY GOD.
stickers are the best thing in my life i swear to god, i love them more than life and they are making my journal so pretty. i'm putting stickers on like every page/entry now, just to make it prettier. i'm pretty devastated that i left my drama book at school over the holidays because  i need to do that book up as well, and i need to write down reflections etc. OH WELL. my drama teacher can bite me, i hate her.
the stickers that i bought were: a sheet of tiny ant stickers ~ which i thought was adorable,  a sheet of cutesy cartoon glitter birds, a sheet of glittery unicorns, a sheet of glittery hippos that say "hip hip hooray!", a sheet of the cutest moo cows ever, a sheet of hard, plastic glittery flowers and a sheet of normal flower stickers just like the hard plastic ones.

i also bought a big tub of foam puppy stickers for $2. there's millions i swear, and they're all different colours. they're foam cut-outs of different types of puppies, bones, and big things that say "WOOF".




the only other thing i bought was this environmental arm-band. it was $2 and it had silhouettes of naked women on it. and it was promoting recycling. of course i bought it.



i am bursting with joy due to my new stickers. i also have all the others i bought the other day.
n____________________________________________n

i think that was all that i bought, i somehow ended up spending $70.
but i'm ok with that, i got plenty of nice stuff for myself and i am so happy as a result.

then after we came back from pac fair we went to juleyin's. it was raining so we got pretty wet, which sucked.
then andy picked me up and we drove out to billy's in cabarita. the car was full ~ black dylan was in the front and jazi, hannah and i were squished in the back. i'd never met hannah before but she was so cool, we became pretty good friends by the end of the night.
we finally got to billy's and for the first part of the night i was really depressed. i don't even know why. i had a few drinks but i was nowhere near drunk, and for the first hour or so that we were there i was just sitting on the couch, smoking or writing in my journal, lamely enough.
then andy kept making me drinks because he felt really bad that i was so upset, and he knows when i drink i just dance around haha. so then i got pretty drunk and i was dancing and it was all really lovely.
then hannah got really sick, and i had been sticking with her all night. she was really smashed and i kept her with me at all times so she didn't get with someone gross or do something stupid.
but yeah, i found her in the bathroom and she said she thought she was going to be sick. i got her over to the toilet and she threw up. she's such a good girl, she threw up tonnes and only missed the toilet once. but she even cleaned it up herself, i told her i'd do it for her.
then i called her mum and got her to come get her. then a few other people came around.
after about 10 o'clock juleyin arrived and said hi to everyone, then he took me and dylan home and juleyin stayed over at mine.
i was well sober by then so that was good, i got to brush my teeth and take my makeup off and get into my pajamas, instead of just passing out in my bed. juleyin also slept in my room, which is a rare thing for mum to let us do :)

~irrelevant small things~ i need to buy.

there are a lot of things that i really want and need to make me content right now.

i need some things to do up my journal, so far this is what it looks like.

haha, the stickers on the top say "MOTHER CUNTING TIT FUCK"

vans sticker and one that says "hardcore" aha

"stoner boner"
lettered stickers are the best thing that's ever happened to me.

so anyway, that's how it's going. but i need to buy:
- silver rhinestones to put the word CUNT in the middle
- pink muffin decal stickers to go above the rhinestones
- other cool stickers online to fill the book with. c:

i actually love stickers that much, i feel like a little kid playing and it makes me so happy, they make my st00f look cool.

i also need/want to buy~:
- creepers. i forgot how fucking cool they are and i want cool shoes to wear when i like go out etc. my vans will always be day-to-day shoes but i want something to wear when i go out shopping somewhere out of tweed or something.

-  team sheen shirt. to be blunt, i fucking love charlie sheen and i need a shirt soooooooo badly. srs. i need one.

- a good belt that can attach belt buckles. i have found so many cool belt buckles, thing is ~ i don't have a belt that can change buckles lol. as a matter of fact i don't have any good belts at all at the moment, my friend borrowed mine and i never got it back.

- septum ring. the one that i have now used to be a beautiful metallic navy blue, now it's faded to a gross metal colour, it's not even silver it's just a weird faded colour. i'm going to just buy a nice silver one this time.

- iron-on patches. i bought a really cute button up tee for three dollars, but it's a plain pale blue because it was for children's school uniforms and i want to cover it with cute iron-on patches and do it up. i think it could look nice. i also want to use them on a denim jacket.

- monte marte 24 pack of coloured pencils. we have them at work for $10-something and i get a 20% discount. i need good colours to work on my tat designs, and i don't really have any good quality ones anymore.

- pencil case. i also need something nice and cute to hold all my coloured stuff, my everyday pencil case just has pens etc in it and it's tiny.

- more skin coloured stockings. mine all have ladders and look ridiculous.

- denim-patterned vans. super cute. something to wear with dresses. this isn't a very high priority on this list.

- denim jacket. sorry for being such a "trend follower", i need one to cover in buttons, iron-on patches and other cool shit.

bought said oversized handbag!!!

for $40!! like what the shit man, that's crazy.
the way i see it i just saved myself $160, i was looking to pay $200 and this bag was far nicer than any of the ones i've seen anyway. it fits all the criteria. it's huge, i can fit bucket loads in there, it has lots of compartments and it stands out. it's black but it has a giant decal flower on the front. it will make so many outfits instantaneously stylish. go daisy ;)
also i can take it with me when i'm going out for the day and night, i could fit  a pack of clothes for the next day and a singlet or jumper to sleep in etc. i'm so excited, i want to go away and use it lol. in the holidays n_n

i'm thinking that we go away in the first week, and party tonnes, then the second week i can get my piercing/s and do my assignments, because i can't drink with new piercings.

anyway, i am extremely happy with the purchases i've made this week, the next thing on my list would be my soundwave revolution ticket. i'll give like $20-$30 a week to mum to pay her back for it, and we really need to get it this weekend because i'm terrified they'll sell out and i'll be left miserable for not seeing Whitechapel live. i cannot die until i see them, T.Mills, Suicide Silence and The Black Dahlia Murder live.

anyway, here's the bag: i think it's wonderful and i have to take care of it because i want it to be an accessory as well, not just something to hold all my shit and get thrown around.

so productive today!

ok so today i went to school, as per usual it was shit. but today is wednesday (sport day) so i get to leave at 12 o'clock. c:
i got the bus to tweed city, and then walked down to my gym (about a 5-10 minute walk).
i did a really good work out today, consisting of:
- running for 15 minutes, burning 75 calories and running about 1.5 kms
- rowing for 1km
- cycling for 1.6 kms
- my ab exercises in reps of 15
- inner thigh machiney-thing

i wasn't too worn out but i felt great for going because i haven't been in ages plus my self body image has been even more horrible lately.
i've also started doing 80 sit-ups every night before bed, i hope it helps because my stomach is my main insecurity.
then i walked back down to tweed city and met mum and did the grocery shopping with her.

now i'm at home and because i finally have some time on my hands i'm putting those foils in my hair that i've wanted for ages. i'm a bit peeved off because the developer i use with my bleach isn't too strong which is good, but i'm not sure if it'll go blonde. i don't want to have to wait a week with orange hair and bleach it again or some bullshit.
anyway, with my hair i'm slowly going white, so i'm going to start with some blonde foils in the right side of my head, (that's where the foils i have in now are) and then i'll make them white, and i'll gradually keep putting more white in my hair. i'm not sure if i want it white all over but i'm making my way there anyway.
when i can afford it i'm getting permanent extensions also, i'm sick of my clip ins and i think they'll just look nicer.

below is a photo of me currently, with my sexy, sexy foils that will turn orange.

extra money, extra purchases ★

ok so today was a public holiday and i was working which means double time and a half.
i worked 5 hours today and that means an extra $95 pay this week, yay!
because i've made basically double i'm going to save double.
i'll be getting paid around $196 on friday, so i'm going to save $100 of that. that will leave me with $96.
$6 goes to my gym contribution, obviously leaving me with $90.
then i need to buy credit, which makes my leisure total $60.
i want to buy some merch online and then save absolutely as much as i can. i want my new piercings soon, plus End Of Financial Year Sales are on very soon and i need money so i can look out for good specials.
i need to do better than this week, only decent thing i bought was a t-shirt for $30 and all of my money is gone.

next year, for me specifically

so. excited.
so many things will be different. this year for me is the most pointless, irrelevant bullshit ever. now that we have to stay till we're 17 by law the school certificate doesn't matter anymore! they've even said they're taking it out. i just want to be in senior school already. i want to study things that i like, i want to put more effort in because i'll be motivated to, and most of all i can't wait to be 16.
OMG ALL THE PIERCINGS I WANT.
and extra money from youth allowance, and i'll be earning more. i'd also have more freedom but that's not really an issue, i basically am allowed to do whatever i want anyway. i'm just looking forward to having extra cash so i'll be able to save more per week.
i'm still unsure about what next year entails for juleyin and i though. if he moves to brisbane for study, though i said i'd move with him i just don't think it will be practical. i'll get preoccupied and my marks will suffer for it, plus it would be hard to ever study. correction, *harder.
i hope more than anything that we stay together. i'll have to make do with seeing him like, one day and one night a week. if he isn't working too often i was thinking i could go up there friday nights, stay there that night and come back saturday, i'd stay all weekend but i have work. merh. just can't wait for school, money and piercings. then i'll be a happy chappy.

but of course none of that will help with my dire need for friends.

gigs

so many, so excited!!
i just missed out on destroy music, which i'm totally devo'd about. my good friend couldn't go anymore because she had no way home, so she was going to sell me her ticket for $30. it's on this saturday night and mum said no because i have work sunday and she doesn't want me going to brisbane at night :'( i would have argued more but she's just out of hospital and i don't want to stir anything more than i have to. i looked at the lineup for soundwave revolution and it looks so amazing. i really only want to go because of whitechapel, they're one of my favourite bands and i cannot die until i've seen them, suicide silence, t.mills and the black dahlia murder live. tickets are around $170 which isn't that much, and juleyin said he would go with me even though he doesn't like that music! :3 i'm so excited! it's gonna be so hard to save for though, lol. might ask mum to pay for it and i'll pay her back? /good idea daisy! not sure if mummy will though.. :/
i'll also have to start saving soon for splendour in the grass. not sure when it is exactly, but juleyin's friend hayden wants us to come with him and camp out, sounds like so much fun. it's around $300 so i better start saving asap. wow. i'm spending $500 on two music festivals. LOL.

ok i have $27 left in my account at the moment. $6 is for mum for the gym. then i'll have $20 left and i want to give that to mum for my vans now, otherwise i'll spend it. or i suppose i could withdraw it and keep it in my money tin. then on friday when i get paid i'll put another $30 in and then mum and i will pay $50 each for my vans :) i need them for school so mum said she would go halves with me. except then i'll only have like, $15 for the rest of the week. and i'm going out friday night and sunday night :l i'm fucked. but shoes for school are a priority, and i'll wear them at work and on the weekends too so it'll be worth it. i'm not really bothered that i won't have money for drugs or drinks at the party, just that i won't have much money for dinner etc or any money for sunday night. (next sunday night is mine and juleyin's one year anniversary and we're going out) but i presume he'll be paying that night.
i don't know. money is just a big issue at the moment.

plan for the week

bit stressed, it's my brothers 19th birthday on wednesday and i haven't gotten him anything nor do i know how i'm meant to afford a present. spent most of my money from this week and i won't get paid before his birthday. #DILEMMAAA
i also don't know what to get him in the first place. i'm the worst at shopping for people.
so i have to find a present for him like, asap.

mum is going to call the gym tomorrow and see if there is still a 'no joining fee' deal going on. if not i'll either have to wait to join or pay mum back. but i'd really like to join this week. i've remembered just how much i hate tweed valley sport, so i'd like to leave every wednesday afternoon and go to the gym as well. that way i'd ACTUALLY be doing exercise and not be miserable. i hope i can join this week though, i really do.
i also need to eat healthy again. my period is over now and my chocolate cravings are gone, so my aim is to eat smaller, healthy meals.

on friday when i get paid i'm going to buy a set of scales and decorate them with pretty stuff. i want to weigh myself every day and my aim is to lose 5kg. i honestly think i'm so fat and i want to be stick thin. i also need to stop drinking, smoking and doing drugs so much, but it really is hard.

i got a few results back last week in relation to work i did last term and over the holidays.
i got:
13/15 in an english task
9.5/10 in an english assignment
38/40 in a science assignment.
i should be getting more results back this week for science and history, and when i do i'm going to take all these results to mum, and and tell her i deserve a new piercing. she keeps saying no because i stretch my lobes and she asks me not to, but i deserve more holes.

i need more money!

gshjojfdjk so much to buy and i hate it.
so most weeks, unless i pick up extra shifts (which is rare) i earn $100 per week. i've recently realised this is not enough money to live off. i put away $50 p/wk for my laptop that i'm saving for. this will continue for the better part of this year. then each week i have to put money away for my credit, i go to a lot of parties so i spend a lot of money on alcohol, weed and cigarettes, and i always buy unnecessary things as well as bad food such as mcdonald's every time i go out. this week i am completely broke because last week i spent all my money while drunk.

once i have enough for my laptop (and mum is putting a few hundred in as a christmas present) i need to save for a camera and then a car. i think i might ask for a camera as a birthday present in february next year though. i also need a new ipod and really want a classic, and i want a new phone, mine is a piece of shit.

i just have to work on not spending my money on pointless shit :(