hair/appearance update

/forever bumming around on photoshop and other photo editors.

i have been so lazy with my blogging lately, mostly because i have had nothing to blog about. but i recently acquired a few gorgeous new garments/accessories and i am very excited to get some good pictures.
i have recently dyed my hair again (just re-doing the black) and have given my extensions a trim. they are now no longer ratty at the ends, they are thicker and are at a more natural length.

my septum pincher arrived a while ago, and my septum is now stretched to 2.1mm. i also got my medusa changed to a silver ball so they match. unfortunately i have also gotten my first blow out on my right stretcher. the other night i upsized to 22mm and i realised the next morning that it had turned into a blow out. it is very painful, and all i can really to do help it is regularly put bio-oil on it, and when i am able to take it out - massage it. hopefully it resolves itself and i won't have to downsize! when it is all healed up i have a 22mm steel tunnel to change it to.



my now-22mm lobe. hopefully soon to be changed to a steel tunnel.

my pentagram choker also arrived (featured in the first photo), along with another more simple lace choker and some studs i had ordered. when i have the time and motivation i will continue on with my alterations on my clothes.

back on track

i have been meaning to post lately, (i have a few new things to show you guys), but unfortunately lately i have been feeling too insecure with my weight and appearance to be able to take photos, and hence, upload them.

this post is about my health/weight loss and my skincare.
honestly, i am loving the winter weather. i have very sensitive skin and the cooler weather has begun to dry my skin out, this is why i have started moisturising (with either my mango body butter from the body shop or a watermelon infused body lotion from fiji) every day/night after i shower. my skin is feeling wonderful, and i have actually received compliments on my skin since i have started doing this. it's a wonderful confidence boost.
my skin (on my face) has also been going very well. i have been moisturising like crazy on my face also due to the weather, and i have not had a single spot in weeks. for once i am very specific and careful to take my makeup off and clean my piercings before bed, no matter where i am. every night i use a special eye-makeup remover (for my sensitive eyes), then a neutrogena face scrub - and wipe off/gently massage with a warm face washer. i then use rose-hip oil (2-3 drops on a wet palm and rub together) all over my face and neck, followed by an organic rose hip moisturiser. i also use a hydrating face mask every 1-2 weeks.




webcam quality, (obviously no make up).
looking rather sullen & ill, but i think my skin looks fabulous.




image #1 - progress photo of my thighs, image #2 - cigarettes and mother energy drink (what i seem to be living off lately), image #3 - writing in bed cuddling my puppy, she makes everything better.

eating and exercising (over the past week or so) has been pretty topsy turvy. one day i am doing wonderful and the next i binge. i have done extremely well the past three days and i am high as a kite, must remember this feeling to keep me focussed.
i don't have much to say as far as my weight issues go because i am far too insecure about it. but anyway, there is a photo.

update and progress

single again, but this time it feels right.
i am hurt, zacc is a wonderful person and i will miss him, but i am hoping we can remain friends. i am mostly excited to start spending some energy and much-needed time on myself. hopefully i can get back into my exercise regime, though i somehow doubt it. i will try and go for a walk/run this afternoon.
eating is not going so good, must work on that and work hard. i keep failing every day.

as far as school work goes, i am pretty content! i have finished all due assignments and i am trying to work out a frequent study routine. so far working out very well!
pleased to say i am also getting back into old hobbies as a result of my new organised lifestyle - i am getting back into knitting! it calms the fuck out of me and is a great way to keep myself distracted and off bad thoughts. i am also altering/making my own clothes again which really does make me happy.

as far as my appearance goes i am both pleased and excited. i have been feeling almost attractive lately with new make-up and a hair cut. over the course of the next few months i am hoping to have better skin (the cooler weather is really drying mine out), more piercings and healthier, longer hair. every time i wash my hair i treat it and use morrocaniol, i am moisturising twice daily and use a face mask every so often as well to keep my skin hydrated. hopefully it pays off.

i am devoting the remainder of the week to myself, my happiness and my appearance. want to exercise more, wax my eyebrows and use a face mask, dye my hair and on the weekend i want to go out and just have fun - without the need for alcohol.

wish me luck petals x

pure hate

i have spent this evening bumming around, taking photos and playing with photoshop.
in the above photos i am wearing my boyfriends "pure hate" tshirt that he gave to me, it's so long that i wear it as a dress and so damn comfy. can't decide if i want to alter it or not, it's a dream to wear.
today i got a hair cut, and i am very happy with the result. it's a bit shorter, but that just means it will grow better. i am also growing my layers out and i am in love with my fringe, we pushed it back further so it goes right to my ears - and i don't have stupid front bangs.

i'm afraid things haven't been going so well lately. my moods have dropped dramatically, and the things that seem to make me feel better are either horrible for my body or horrible for my mental stability. i wish i could explain further but i'm afraid i just can't.
words are failing me again, my mind is failing me again. i have all these circulating feelings and no words to describe the way i feel. i am in constant pain and i don't know what to do or why i'm even feeling like this.
whatever.
as far as school and my personal life goes, things are relatively sweet. i have gotten organised again, and started using my planner every day like i used to - the difference it makes is remarkable. i live by my planner, if it is in there i will have more chance of doing it than if a gun was pointed to my head. i also have finished most of my assignments and outstanding work to be done - and i am working on forming a regular study routine. i am also working on a major textiles & design project due in about a months time, and i am so happy with how it's coming along, and the ideas i have for it.
the 2nd of may also marked two months for zacc and i. he's so wonderful, he treats me so well. to celebrate we went out shopping and i got a few gorgeous things including new makeup, nail polish, a few chokers and the most gorgeous dress which i will make a post about when i am able to get some decent shots of myself in it.
also have a few garments that i am working on (mainly old clothes that i am altering), and i am excited to see them finished. will upload photographs then.

casual gathering

on the weekend i attended a gathering at my friend's house. luckily he lives in the next street from me, so getting home etc wasn't really an issue. things got a little out of hand unfortunately, i drank far too much and broke my streak of no drugs. messy messy. none the less, i had a quite pleasant night and rather enjoyed myself.

i have decided not to drink for a while though, my liver already has permanent damage done to it and i have been drinking at least once a week even since i got out of hospital for liver problems. i really need to start taking care of myself. i have also recently discovered there are very few foods i can eat - lately i have felt awfully sick after eating/drinking dairy products and i feel so sick if i have carbohydrates or anything that tends to expand in your stomach (breads etc). i have stopped eating fast food/crap and i've been drinking a lot more water. feel so clean.

anyway, here's some photos from the party. :-)

i love meg! (Kind of Lovely)