goals for the remainder of the year

the main connotation for this is to be more productive.
there are 48 days left of the year and i plan to make them count.

my first step ~

•  working more and getting fit.
  it's become abundantly clear to me that i have gained a substantial amount of weight. i now have a mass of 54 kilograms (kgs) or 119 pounds (lbs). how fucking disgusting is that. i used to weigh around 50kgs, which is still more than i'd like but i stayed that weight for a very long time, and it's not as if i'm still growing. i will be this height for the rest of my life, most likely. i always have this thing where i will stick to my diet and get all happy for a week or so and then i will relapse and binge and binge and binge. i have trained my stomach in the opposite way. i have been eating far more than i need to and now i get hungry and i get the shakes really easily, even if it's only been a few hours since i've eaten.
  my goal for the remainder of the year is to not eat less, but just eat healthy. and to get back into my regime at the gym. i want to go three times a week at least.
  i also want to begin working more. i only get two shifts a week and i have been telling my boss for weeks that i will be free and he almost refuses to give me extra shifts. i am going to go into work tomorrow and talk to the other manager who does the rosters and ask her for extra shifts. if a few weeks go by and i still haven't picked up extra work i will start applying at different places to perhaps start working a second job. i need more money and i need a reason to not sit at home every day doing nothing, because unless i have to get up early or do something with the day - i won't.
  ~


• saving more and spending my money more appropriately.
  like fuck, i'm sick of spending all my money from that week and and everything i saved from the week before. maybe i should just stay home when i'm not going to the gym or doing something productive like seeing friends or going out to buy a specific thing.
  there are so many things that i want and i need a lot of money for them, (most of them are online) and i spend so much money in real life on things that i really don't need. my only exception on buying things in real life is clothes. because i really need a new summer wardrobe and new clothes are cleansing and invigorating.
  so i really want to start spending less money, or mainly, stop going out as much on shopping days because i spend a shit load of money on food that i don't need and makes me fat, and i'm encouraged to buy shit i don't need. if it's not clothing or something cheap, i must not buy it.
  ~


•  lastly, motivation itself.
  there are so many things i want to do. and want to get back into. these include my art, making clothes, knitting and i really fucking want to re-arrange my room and set up a shrine-type thing, i have everything i need but i just can't be bothered to do it. i also need to do a big spring clean and throw out loads of old clothes.

brisbane and the holidays.

very happy and excited that the holidays are here!
the last week or so of school was very stressful, what with the assignment i had due ~ but i got it done and it's seriously the best feeling in the world. i basically have no work to do over the holidays and i couldn't be happier!

because of this, and the fact i only work thrusdays and sundays, i absolutely want to get away for a few days.
i had planned to go this week but of course i got my period, so i'd rather go next week. i have no idea where we'd stay though..
i think it'd just be juleyin and i, i asked him to see if we could stay at his cousin zane's house, but he's not sure if there's any room there. iunno, i'd just love to spend a night or two out of tweed. i really need it.

other priorities for the holidays are:
- my piercings.
ok i'm so pissed off on this topic. when school went back last term i came to mum with tonnes of good results and said i wanted a piercing because i clearly deserved it. my grandparents were trying to find a new house at the time and she said when everything has settled down. i later revisited the idea, and she said we'll wait till my half yearly exam results come back. then when they did, (and i got really good results) she said in the holidays.
i'm freaking sick and tired of it. i tried to bring it up last night and she ate me alive. i was devastated and got so upset.
i honestly don't understand my mother when it comes to me getting piercings. she let me get my septum and my tragus done about a year ago, but now she won't let me get any more when i just wanted some piercings in my belly, as opposed to the "bull ring" she let me get through my nose
i don't know. i don't think it makes sense.

i know a lot of people think i must be stupid, needing my mother's approval for piercings, but i like to respect her wishes when i can and she's really particular with things like this. but when i turn sixteen in february next year i'll be doing whatever i want as far as piercings and stretchers go, so merh.
i just don't want to wait till then to get piercings that aren't even that bad.
there's a "2 for $50" piercing special going on at the moment and i really want to get my reverse navel and my tongue done, but i don't see mum letting me. this makes me incredibly sad - i hate that i only have seven piercings now. i've taken a few out now...

- another thing i have to get done these holidays is my room. i plan on going through my plastic draws and my bookshelf, and throwing out all my old crap that i have. it's going to be hard, and it's going to take forever.

i want it to be next year, stat.

entry #2

you're still numero two.

MONDAY.
first day at school in like literally a week. i hate it, i hate it, i hate it. i have to complete a history assignment and a "prejudice" story by the end of the term, fairly sure. i really need to talk to my teachers about those.
but school isn't important. not to me at the moment, anyway.
two weeks holidays after this week - fuck yes.
i want to go away with juleyin in the holidays. maybe go and stay in brisbane at zanes.

[[[[[PERSONAL SHIT I CAN'T POST ON MY BLOG]]]]]

i really want to stay at his with juleyin for a few days and we can all party together in brisbane.
i think it would be mad and exactly the kind of thing i need.
zane must feel so good about himself, knowing everyone wants him.. can't imagine what that would be like.

to do list:~

- get extension on history assignment
- do history assignment
- wax eyebrows
- finish english "prejudice" story
- change subjects
- bleach spare extensions that i don't wear
- wax eyebrows
- cut toenails
- paint nails
- paint toenails
- tat designs

ok i need to do these all really soon. i realise most of them are irrelevant little things but i work best when i work with lists. i want most, if not all of these done within the week.

i definitely need to get my english story done and submitted by the end of the week, same goes with my history assignment. fuck this shit, i don't want to do either of them they're so boring and gay. mainly the history one. like basically, i don't give a fuck so stop trying to woo me with your sexy muscles and baseball tees. (i have the hots for my history teacher ~lawl~~)
i also need to change my subjects or i'm screwed.

as for the rest of the list, it's mainly beauty-orientated so i want to get that done for the weekend. even though i'm not doing anything. fuck. -____-

saturday i have to go out to my nan's house because they're moving monday and i won't get a chance to say goodbye to my childhood home otherwise because i'm working sunday. and then obviously, i'm not doing anything on sunday because i'm working so i'm all bored and lonely all weekend yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. :l
then monday i have to help them move in. i hate it, i hate that they're moving but they have to, they lived too far away from us (or anyone for that matter) and if something happened they need to be closer to us.

i suppose tuesday will be my first opportunity to go anywhere or do anything. i'll see if juleyin wants to go away with me the first week or second week n_n

 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

merch~♥☆♡★

is my new addiction.
my most treasured thing in the world.

i always yell at juleyin because he's addicted to looking at cars to buy online even when he can't afford some, but now i've found my addiction. i can't stop looking at all this amazing merch and how i want it all. i get to work this monday as it's a public holiday - (fuck yes double time and a half!) and with my extra money i am definitely buying some baseball tees and whatever else i can afford. i'm so keen.

in holiday mode,

it's pretty snazzy.
tomorrow is my last "official" day of school, but fuck going. i think i'll duck in for a few minutes to hand in some assignments, cos well i have to or i fail the course.. but anyway. i'm planning on bribing my boyfriend into driving me because i could no where near be bothered to walk down to school and then catch a bus to his anyway, so hopefully that works out. i'm not sure if i have to sign in as a visitor or just not sign in at all? i'll just walk in, hand it in and be gone.

this was taken today in the car, looking pretty bitchin' in my school uniform.

new topic.
holy mother of jesus. my computer is actually proper fucked. or, was. we got it back today, and it's been completely reformatted. i was so scared that i had lost all my photos, but luckily the guy backed it all up before wiping the computer. i also don't exactly know how to use wordpress, but it's really for my own benefit so i'm not too bothered. i just wish it would look prettier. my luck with technology is the worst, dead set.