friday the 3rd of june.

i.e. yesterday.
it went splendidly! i had my final exam, science, and i actually didn't find it difficult at all. i finished sooooo early and had to kill about 40 minutes so i drew on a piece of paper and wrote t.mills and jeffree star lyrics all over it. picture is down tharrrrr ↓
i could not be happier. i should get some of my results back by next week, yaaaaaayy. if they're good, hello piercings! (they'll be good, it's kay guys ;D)

i'm getting my reverse navel but i just really hope i'm allowed to get my tongue done. probs not.
mufti went lovely, i felt super cute - i had a red, white and black theme going on.

we skipped last period because there was no reason to go to science after a two hour science exam, and ayla had left so i'd just be lonely basically. so we went to tweed city early, and i got my vans!! they were $10 cheaper than i thought, which was awesome because i then had extra money for the night. then zac took me home, i love him so much we never hang out anymore but lately we have been, i've missed him so much he's actually the best person to be around and we have so much in common, we just get along really well. always have.

then i spent god knows how long looking at merch online and have decided i need some whitechapel shirts and i also need a nice band jumper. if i ever have spare money this is what i'm spending it on. here's some of my favourites that i found: this Miss May I hoodie, this baseball tee, another baseball tee, this Whitechapel jumper, and this amazing Whitechapel zip up,.
fuck, i want them all so bad and so much more.

then i finally got ready and my brother dropped me down to juleyin's and we walked over to the restaurant. mostly everyone was there before us so at least we weren't waiting for ages.
i ordered a chicken tostada for dinner, it was so yummy and it didn't feel too rich or bad for me. it was pretty fresh, actually. i was so happy to see rhi as well, it totally made my night. i love her so much and i hadn't even seen her since she got back from america.

then when we were leaving the restaurant something really weird/scary happened. juleyin, josh, luke, rhi and i were walking through the fire exits of showcase and then we got to a door that was jammed. it was the only way out so juleyin had to kick it open. a security guard was on the other side when we got it open and as soon as he saw juleyin he grabbed him and started trying to "rough him up". i was so scared and the security guy was yelling at us so loud and swearing more than i bloody do! he kept trying to hit juleyin and he was just like 'uh what the fuck?' luke, rhi and i were out side and the security guy was in the fire exit with juleyin and josh, then he turned to me and said 'don't you go anywhere you little cunt' i was beside myself, he was literally the worst person i've ever met. then luke just grabbed me and said we had to run but they'd be fine. i was so scared about juleyin but we ran, and a few minutes later juleyin called luke saying they got away and to meet them at cold rock where the others from dinner were. i ran up to juleyin and his mouth was bleeding - that cunt had punched him in the face and there was a massive gash in his inner lip, srs you have no idea how deep it was! i felt so horrible, but i was very proud of him for sticking up for us. the security guard also started punching josh in the stomach, chest and back when he was doing absolutely everything he asked. ugh i was so mad and wanted to kill that guy.

so we got some icecream and went to todd's for the party. juleyin went with hayden and i went with zac. i hadn't planned on drinking but people kept feeding me shots and i ended up pretty drunk, but i'm so proud of myself i didn't mix drugs and alcohol i stuck to one, that's the reason i always get so fucked up - i'll already be drunk and then someone will give me weed.
then after a while hayden drove us back to my house, it was only a bit after 12 when we got home and mum asked me to be home as early as i could so i'm very happy about that. i also took my makeup off and brushed my teeth before i went to bed even though i was sooooo drunk, so proud!!

this morning i woke up at like 7:30am and couldn't get back to sleep for some reason. i was so shocked i didn't have a hangover, and then i realised i was still drunk - hahaha! i drank lots of water and watched skins with breakfast. then juleyin got called into work and i've been doing chores since then slash writing this!

here's some photos of my drawing after my exam, what i wore to school yesterday, what i looked like at dinner and assorted photos from the party and dinner.

the future

is always so fucking close ahead! it's terrifying me, and i want it so badly but at the same time i need more time.
i have no idea what my life will be like next year.
i think it's fairly safe to say that juleyin and i will still be together by next year, and that's where it starts to get complicated. he has no idea what he wants to do when he leaves school, but he knows that he definitely wants to go to uni. there's a high probability that he will move back to brisbane for this, and get a house with his best friend, brodie. i always said i wanted to move in with them and do my hsc up in brisbane, but i somehow don't think that will happen. i want to focus all of my attention on my studies, and even though i'd have the opportunity to go to a better school up there, i don't think i'd be focused living with the two funniest men alive. also, i'd be the most homesick bitch in the world.
but i'm not sure if juleyin and i could survive that long distance again.
i suppose we could take turns going up or down and staying the night like we used to, but it would be so hard, going from seeing him everyday to that.
if we can stay together for another two years (which i sincerely hope so because he's the most amazing man i've ever met and never want to lose him), then i'll be moving to brisbane after i finish my hsc and will live with juleyin and brodie while i am at university. this is my plan, at least. it would be so perfect and i seriously hope so dearly that this all works out.

juleyin is the first person i've been with that i can realistically see myself being with for quite some time, and the amazing thing is that it could very well happen. it's our one year anniversary next sunday, i'm so happy and so excited and vow to make our next year a whole lot better and easier.

i'm just hating year ten something fierce. it is actually the most pointless year, considering that everyone has to stay till they're 17 and i'm going on to years eleven and twelve anyway. the only subject i'm really struggling with is math. i'm in advanced and i'm fairly sure i've failed every test this year. i'm paying $50 a week for tutoring which is helping, but it's not like i'm not trying to do well. i have an exam tomorrow which i'm certain i'll fail but i've been studying for hours, regardless. then all of next week i have exams. they're going to be so difficult and i'll probably fail the math one, but it's ok i'll still pass as long as i don't get any n awards. which i won't because i'm a good student, i'm just naturally bad at math.

sigh, only half a year left of this utterly pointless grade.