i am losing patience

i am losing focus, i am losing reason to be here.
i don't want to do this anymore, i don't want to feel this way.

i'm barely even alive anymore.

work is fucking horrible, every time i find someone who i feel appreciates my company i get spat on the face, and the last thing i ever want to do is be sober. someone take me away, someone give me something new, something exciting, something to make me feel like my time here is worthwhile.
i feel like if i get away, even for a few days, that things will somehow be better when i return. but that happens every time, and everything stays the same.