Tuesday, 31 May 2011

so much nostalgia

exams all week this week, ew.

it's so crazy to think about how much i've changed and how far i've come since this time last year. i remember when i had half yearlies last year i was at one of the most shameful times of my life.
i had been kicked out of my home and was bouncing from house to house, i was drinking and smoking non-stop and it was around this time that i first started doing drugs. i remember one thursday night having a big argument with my mum and decided i was leaving. the next day i set off with my partner-in-crime, tori, with duffel bags stuffed with all our valued possessions and we left it all at juleyin's house while we hit the town that day. juleyin and i were close at this time, we weren't dating but we were getting together and constantly fighting the feelings we had for each other. that night we went to a party on the beach, and i still think it was the best party i've ever been to. or at least one of them. i got very drunk very quickly and i was then used as currency, something i am so furious about. i had no idea what was going on, i was out of it. some people i was with wanted some smokes and drinks off these guys. they said no, so they offered me to them. they gave them a few smokes and then basically gave me away to them. i'm not sure exactly what i did with any of those guys.
then a while later the cops came. i had to climb this mountain thing and got scratches all over me, and i left my only warm jacket down on the beach. that was my favourite jacket and i never got it back. anyway, juleyin and i were hiding up on this mountain and the only thing that kept me from losing my balance was a tree. i slipped, and began tumbling down this rainforest/hill thing. i got absolutely covered in scrapes and bruises but i thought it was hilarious. a little while later juleyin carried me back to his house.
i continued with this lifestyle for about a week, and then started doing weed. i also kept jumping from house to house, until i realised i had no money, i was filthy and unhappy because juleyin was back up in brisbane. i went home again.

a few weeks passed and mum and i kept fighting, i was wagging, stealing and going out and getting smashed when i was told to stay home. then mum basically kicked me out.
i was living at my step mother's house for a while, but it didn't really work. it was at this time that the half yearlies were on, and that's why i'm so amazed, comparing this year and the last.

now, my mother is my best friend and i love her to death, i never wag and i try hard at school, and we never fight about me going out because i'm allowed to go to parties now and she trusts me.

i still do drugs, i still smoke and drink, but everyone has their own way to deal with things.
also, i'm in a loving committed relationship, (it's mine and juleyin's anniversary on sunday also) and i'm not slutting it up.
can't even imagine this time next year.

oh and i had pixie cropped, bleach blonde hair. look at me now!

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