moving on

same old, same old. this is all too familiar to me, everything is simply a repeat. i try to say i'm unhappy with the routine but last time i tried to change it i also tried to end my life. i don't understand what i am meant to do, where i am meant to go or where i am even headed.

things with my boyfriend are currently quite fantastic, he makes me happy and really does treat me well but i need to make sure i don't lose myself or my independence in this relationship like i always seem to do. i think things will work out for the best.

in almost every aspect of my life, things are getting back to normal. i feel this is a good thing but it also terrifies me, it's like nothing has changed and i haven't gotten any better, i'm just starting to move on from the hurt. i saw my GP today, and we had a good, long chat, and it really made me think. he was saying i need to start treating what goes on in my head as a disease, and not a weakness. but really, everyone has some degree of shit they go through, some degree of pain and suffering. it almost seems juvenile to go on about it like it's a serious problem. i'm happy to not change anything and to continue on the way i'm going, i'm happy not caring and just drifting. but there i go again, saying the same shit and changing my mind and regressing every time something goes the slightest bit wrong in my life. i am currently on easter break away from school, but once we go back i am hoping to god i have the strength to turn things around. i need to try and focus again, get organised. i also need to try to see the bigger picture, because when i do, all of my "issues" seem quite redundant.

these holidays i have a few things i want to do. i want to get my learners licence - mainly because i know this time next year i will be kicking myself if i don't get it now,  i want to get fit and i want to cut down on smoking so much. also, i want to spend more time with my girlfriends. i honestly hope i find the will to get these things done, everything sounds great in theory but i have next to no motivation and things just get harder the longer i put them off.

if my fear has kept me here, only my fear can set me free.

new people, new ideas

i wish i could say this came with an accompanying new outlook on life but unfortunately that's just not happening for me right now.
i have spent the last 8 days in hospital. i only just avoided going to a psychiatric facility in lismore, because i told them i was happy and could guarantee my safety. whether or not it was a lie at the time is irrelevant, but i don't really believe it any more. i'm on an "Acute Watch Program" thing, which basically means i get called once or twice a day to see how i am and if i am in any danger from myself, and on the days where they don't call i am in therapy. had my first appointment this morning, it was painful and miserable. i want help and i know that this is the way to get it but it's just painful.
no matter how "happy" i get there is always a piercing pain in my chest and stomach, it just dulls from time to time. i just want it to go away.
i don't know how else to put it, i'm not in a good place.
food disgusts me, people disgust me, i constantly feel sick and there is nowhere i want to be - i don't enjoy being at home and i don't enjoy being anywhere else either. i just like being distracted whilst out with good people, new people. people who don't know that i'm a nutcase.

exercise entry/healthy bodies!

i feel so clean, i feel amazing.
i have been trying to cut down to 500 calories a day - it hasn't been going too well but not for lack of trying. my eating habits are getting a lot better and starting today am going to return to the gym as frequently as possible.

today i ate:
breakfast ~ nothing
lunch ~ "mini curry rice bowl" from top noodle
dinner ~ crumbed chicken breast, mashed potato and salad

as far as exercise goes:
i went to the gym and did ab exercises, running on the treadmill, cycling and rowing.
ab exercises:
~ hold body up for 1 minute (works your core)
~ 40 regular sit ups while holding a 5kg weight
~ 10 side-to-side sit ups while holding a 5kg weight
~ 20 leg raises.

treadmill:
distance covered ~ 2.92 kms
time spent ~ 31 minutes
calories burned ~ 132

exercise bike:
distance covered ~ 6.85 kms
time spent ~ 22.5 mins
calories burned ~ 100

rowing machine:
distance covered ~ 520 metres
time spent ~ 3.2 minutes lol (this was cut short as we had to leave the gym).
calories burned ~ 26

 

i have also successfully quit marijuana. one day i will try and quit cigarettes, but for the moment, i couldn't feel cleaner.

the future.

i've been thinking about moving out a lot lately. mostly about what i have to do in preparation for when i do move out. this includes:
~ buying new furniture and re-doing my room (new wardrobe, new bed & sheets etc, duchess/dressing table)
~ start saving so i have some extra cash when i move out
~ buy my camera and all the other things i'm saving for beforehand, because i won't be able to save much if i'm living out of home.

i was talking to my mother, and she made it clear to me that i will be living in this house until i move out. i had expected that as a family we would be moving soon, but then i realised that was counter-productive. then when i moved out my mother would have to move again, to get a smaller place.
so i have begun preparing. i am going to start by saving for my camera and furniture simultaneously, mainly because i can't decide which i need/want more.  i will be getting a bit of cash for my birthday which should help with my saving, (as long as i don't spend too much of it on shopping and my party). i'm also slowly getting rid of all the useless crap i have floating throughout my room. this not only includes old clothing and shoes etc that i no longer want, but also schooling stuff, and childhood memorabilia that i really must work up the courage to give away, or if i can't - pack it into some boxes and store it away.
i'm so incredibly happy after christmas, i have everything i need to be happy and continue living my life the way i want to. i have my doc martens (which i feel so comfortable in, and they're fantastic for all the hiking i end up doing at parties etc), my new gorgeous studded handbag (which can fit everything in it not to mention how in love i am with it), and i have new underwear and bras which i desperately needed.
this year will be a new beginning for me, i am going to focus more on myself and less on destroying myself. i want to focus on my art, my health and a healthy way of losing weight, saving and getting back in touch with myself.

i'm far too excited.

 

free resorts and brisbane mates.

so last night juleyin and i went around to kirra, to a place called Wyndham Vacation Resort.
juleyin's cousin zane and two of his mates mikey and georgia were staying at this resort because mikey's dad gets it for free once a year or something. it was pretty nice, we were up on the ninth floor with a beautiful view of the beach, and there was a lovely sauna/spa/pool area.

when we got there we started drinking, and i was drinking elevates. i had never tried them before, and a four-pack was around $13 which is pretty cheap, and that got me smashed. i was so happy to get really drunk again, it's been a while.
zane was complaining that he had no weed so i told him i had some, and then he said he had no spin, and i said i had some. he like killed me with a massive hug. i only had one cone, i was pretty drunk anyway.

i ended up going for a walk to buy more cigarettes, and now i'm wishing that i didn't because that was money my cousin gave me for me to go get her weed. which means i have to pay another $20 when i get paid this week for weed. i also need to buy a bottle of vodka, and juleyin's christmas present. and ayla's. crap. i'm going to need a loan off my mother.

i felt kind of used by the time we left, everyone kept sucking up to me to steal my smokes.
after i got back from buying cigarettes i was just hanging with everyone else for a bit, then i had another drink and i was just fucked. i lied down on one of the beds and ended up throwing up, but someone had put a towel there for me so it only went on the towel. i was so glad i threw up, i ate way too much yesterday.

a few hours later i woke up, with no idea what had happened. it was around 3:30 am. juleyin was asleep in the lounge room on the floor, zane was on the couch and georgia was in the bed next to me. i got changed into my spare clothes, took my extensions out and tidied everything up and then tried to go back to sleep. didn't happen.
i then got dressed again and re-did my makeup and went out. i went for a massive walk around the whole of kirra/coolangatta, and watched the sun rise. when i first left i went to get a pie and it was really good, and about ten minutes later i wanted to puke.

when i got back to the apartment (i was so shocked i got the right floor and room number i nearly forgot), it was about 6am. juleyin was in my bed and didn't even seem to care that i had been gone. i got into bed with him and he kept asking me if i went to the toilet, lol. i wish he cared more if i was out on my own for three hours, like shit i freak out if he's gone 20 minutes.

i went back to sleep and got up a few hours later, with a huge hangover. that's usually a sign it was a good night. we went down and bought bacon and eggs for everyone but we were the only ones that had any. i had one egg, a tiny bit of bacon and some yoghurt with muesli. eating makes me feel so sick immediately after now, i don't know what it is - whether it's psychological or if something is actually wrong with me. hm.





before we left. i also got a blood test done yesterday so that's why there is a bandage on my arm.



georgia, she was really nice.



zane and me looking really fucking creepy



me "rocking mikey's hat"



juleyin and zane



this photo was actually an accident but i really like it for some bizarre reason. while i was out on my walk.

re-vamping my room and motivation

i have decided to completely re-do my room this week, hopefully i have the time and the money. i mainly want to get piles and piles of my favourite images off tumblr printed, maybe down at harvey norman where they have really good quality printers. hopefully it won't be too expensive?
i also want to draw up my diet plan on a massive piece of paper and stick it on my wall so i never forget, as well as do lots of sketches of thin, beautiful women to keep me motivated.

i also really want to buy some sheer, black curtains to put in front of my blinds but i'm not sure if i'll have the money/find them easily. hmph. i might ask mum for a loan.

the main thing is that i want to put posters and pictures up all over my room, and also set up the fairy lights that i bought today.

i want my room to feel like home again.

The ABC Diet - Ana Boot Camp

admittedly the title scares me a little - i do not have an eating disorder. i just hate my body with a burning passion and this has proved successful. i'm not sure if i'm even following it correctly, i'm just not eating.

the ABC diet is a 50-day diet which tricks your body into thinking it's going into starvation mode. each day you have a certain amount of calories you can have, ranging from 50 to 800. there are also  six "fasting" days where you consume 0 calories.

i have read that after the 50 days a lot of peple put on all of the weight again, but i'm just going to stick to it, or stick to eating the bare minimum. you don't lose weight and then expect to keep it off when you're not working for it.

i started this diet yesterday, the 16th of December, 2011.
my limit for yesterday was 500 calories ~ i consumed 501 in total and i didn't eat a single thing, just coffee and a low fat smoothie.

i also get the shakes if i don't eat (because my body sugar gets low very easily) so i also bought some barley sugar lollies, which are about 20 calories each and they stop me from shaking when i haven't eaten.

 

the 50 day calorie plan goes ~

Day 1- 500 calories

Day 2- 500 calories

Day 3- 300 calories

Day 4- 400 calories

Day 5- 100 calories

Day 6- 200 calories

Day 7- 300 calories

Day 8- 400 calories

Day 9- 500 calories

Day 10- FAST

Day 11- 150 calories

Day 12- 200 calories

Day 13- 400 calories

Day 14- 350 calories

Day 15- 250 calories

Day 16- 200 calories

Day 17- FAST

Day 18- 200 calories

Day 19- 100 calories

Day 20- FAST

Day 21- 300 calories

Day 22- 250 calories

Day 23- 200 calories

Day 24- 150 calories

Day 25- 100 calories

Day 26- 50 calories

Day 27- 100 calories

Day 28- 200 calories

Day 29- 200 calories

Day 30- 300 calories

Day 31- 800 calories

Day 32- FAST

Day 33- 250 calories

Day 34- 350 calories

Day 35- 450 calories

Day 36- FAST

Day 37- 300 calories

Day 38- 450 calories

Day 39- 400 calories

Day 40- 350 calories

Day 41- 300 calories

Day 42- 250 calories

Day 43- 200 calories

Day 44- 200 calories

Day 45- 250 calories

Day 46- 200 calories

Day 47- 300 calories

Day 48- 200 calories

Day 49- 150 calories

Day 50- FAST

Slowly return to a normal diet.

 

i have also realised that my first fasting day is Christmas Day. that won't happen in any way shape or form so i am going to fast for two days afterwards (or as long as i can) and then re-start my diet where i left off.

brisbane trips

yesterday (friday the 16th) juleyin, brodie and i went to brisbane for the day. it wasn't as good as i had hoped, like it didn't really live up to the days i used to spend in the city, but it was still lovely and much better than being in tweed for the day. i think it wasn't as fun for me because i didn't have a girlfriend with me and i started my diet and was upset.

i had a bit of money to spend, and i didn't really spend that much so that made me happy.
i bought some makeup and makeup brushes,  a shirt, a $50 gift card for a christmas present and a cute canteen water bottle from sportsgirl.



brodie and i in the city <3 i love him.

 



what i bought, excluding the shirt.

 



said shirt.

dream diary

omg so good.

ok for shits and giggles, ie no reason at all, i decided to hop on a plane to america.
the plane landed and i was in the airport in LA. next to the airport was a train station, and i was about to get on a train and go to another city but then i saw my friend blake.
he was with some friends, as he had been in america for a few weeks longer than me and they were all pretty cool. they were all male.
i told him i was thinking about going to another city and he was all "hell no, LA is where the party scene is at" but without that black tone of voice. i told him that i would stay in LA with him and that we should go out that night.
then i asked where they were staying. then they said "what, you don't sleep here, you don't live here, you just stay up all night and keep walking around with your duffel bag."

fuck i wish i could just do that.

then we met up with some other guys who had two trashy looking girls with them. i didn't like the look of them but i was happy to have some female company (that's odd, i hate women). the men then somehow stripped me so all i was wearing was a t-shirt, and started throwing me around, catching me and then throwing me to the next person. it sounds violent and despicable but it wasn't, it was all in good fun, i was just worried about my bum bum showing. then one of the guys was just carrying me, it was kinda cute. then he stroked my head and said "hey, you have real hair!" it wasn't till then that i realised i was blonde in this dream, with permanent hair extensions. they looked really good and even though you could tell my hair was dead my hair looked awesome. i can't wait to look like a barbie again.
so anyway, then i got changed into a mini, tight cheetah print dress and black heels. i looked so stereotypical slut and i don't care i looked hot. i also had lovely, smokey dark eye makeup on and omg. i would fuck me. i was also a lot skinnier than i am, and WHY CAN'T I LOOK LIKE THAT IN REAL LIFE? we got to a club, and it was like a private room in the back of it, almost like an apartment. there were cute black leather couches and rest rooms and a beaded doorway that headed back out to the club.
we sat around drinking fancy, fruity drinks, and i can't remember too much except that at one stage i fell over one of the couches backwards and ended up upside down. woopsies,  i'm being mighty slutty in this dream.
then i hopped back on a plane back to australia to work one shift. (?!?!?!?!) afterwards i came home to wash my clothes and dye my regrowth before going back to america.
mum came into the bathroom while i was dying my hair and was like "oh hi sweetie! what are you doing home? how was your friends place?" and i was like "lol wtf i was overseas."
then after doing everything i needed to do i went back to the states and stayed there party-hopping for about a week.

when i am older i am going to do this for like a month i swear.

holyyyyyy fucking shit

just found this tumblr post i did when i was in hospital at the start of the year. this shit's crazy man.
i don't use tumblr anymore and haven't for months so this was like on one of the first pages.

"So here I am, in the hospital I was born in.

It’s really quite bizarre, I’ve never been in hospital except for the time I dislocated and broke my wrist.
So basically, I have a haggard bout of pneumonia, a chest infection and an ear infection. I was admitted yesterday afternoon, with no warning. I was at the doctors and they sent me straight here! Had to go buy pajamas from target across the street. Last night was pretty rough. I got a really bad temperature, and had to be put on the nebulizer twice because I couldn’t breathe. Juleyin surprised me and came to see me when he heard though, which was amazing. I honestly love that boy to death. He was here again tonight, came up with my mother and brother. The nurse was checking my heart rate and asked him if he could help me get it a little higher ;) Haha! We had maddddd cuddles in my hospital bed and played with all the toys because I’m in the children’s ward. OH, forgot to mention - I’m the only one in the entire ward! Apparently kids don’t get sick anymore. So I’m left to play with all the toys on my own. So fucking keen. The etch n sketch is my favourite so far. Drew Juleyin tonight c;
But medically, I’m still, well, shit. I’ve had like fucking four litres of saline in my IV which makes me need to pee 24/7, plus tonnes of antibiotics - both orally and through my IV. And I have an oxygen tube on because I can’t breathe. My right lung is shot all to hell, and it doesn’t take a doctor to know why. This whole experience has made me think about my lifestyle and the choices I make.

What have I done to myself?"

got me thinking.

i haven't made any changes. lol.
i quit smoking for a week or two after i got out of hospital cause it could like, potentially kill me if i did lol, but then i started up again.

i might quit again soon if i can.
but i'm lazy and a stressed person, i probably won't.

self-esteem, body image and sexual appetite.

as you're undoubtedly aware, i have some self-esteem issues. as does every woman these days. thing is, i never used to. then bam! i want to kill myself every time i look in the mirror.

though, remarkably, lately these have been resolving themselves.

over the past few months i've been feeling so shit and trying my absolute hardest to lose weight. as a result of my horrible self-esteem, i could never get into the mood because i could never feel sexy whilst naked so my libido virtually shrivelled up. i still had sex, but i never really enjoyed it.

then, last week or so, all these feelings i had just disappeared! now i eat whatever i want to and i don't feel bad, plus my sex drive is back and my relationship with my boyfriend is going a lot better as a result. i've gained 2 kilos since this has happened, which makes me sad, but i'm not too bothered. i just need to keep going to the gym and eating healthy when possible, and i'll become fit and not jiggly. that's enough for me to feel good about myself.

so productive today!

ok so today i went to school, as per usual it was shit. but today is wednesday (sport day) so i get to leave at 12 o'clock. c:
i got the bus to tweed city, and then walked down to my gym (about a 5-10 minute walk).
i did a really good work out today, consisting of:
- running for 15 minutes, burning 75 calories and running about 1.5 kms
- rowing for 1km
- cycling for 1.6 kms
- my ab exercises in reps of 15
- inner thigh machiney-thing

i wasn't too worn out but i felt great for going because i haven't been in ages plus my self body image has been even more horrible lately.
i've also started doing 80 sit-ups every night before bed, i hope it helps because my stomach is my main insecurity.
then i walked back down to tweed city and met mum and did the grocery shopping with her.

now i'm at home and because i finally have some time on my hands i'm putting those foils in my hair that i've wanted for ages. i'm a bit peeved off because the developer i use with my bleach isn't too strong which is good, but i'm not sure if it'll go blonde. i don't want to have to wait a week with orange hair and bleach it again or some bullshit.
anyway, with my hair i'm slowly going white, so i'm going to start with some blonde foils in the right side of my head, (that's where the foils i have in now are) and then i'll make them white, and i'll gradually keep putting more white in my hair. i'm not sure if i want it white all over but i'm making my way there anyway.
when i can afford it i'm getting permanent extensions also, i'm sick of my clip ins and i think they'll just look nicer.

below is a photo of me currently, with my sexy, sexy foils that will turn orange.

SAVING FOR:

a thousand things simultaneously.
so i earn $100 a week unless i pick up extra shifts, which never happens.
i save $50 of that every week and put it into my separate account that i don't touch. this is savings for my laptop. i need my own one soooooooo bad, and mum says she'll put in a few hundred for an early christmas present. so i want to save up around $1000ish.

aside from that, i'm also saving for a few other things with my remaining $50 p/wk.
well every week i have to give my mum $6.50 because my gym fee is $12.50 a week and we go halves. then, if i can but usually don't because i'm a shitcunt, put away around $10 a week for my credit.
then with the tiny amount of my remaining money for the week i'm trying to save $50 for a pair of vans (mum is paying the rest), $20-30 for moroccan oil for my hair - a product that will help get my hair healthy again, and $50 for piercings. once i have the money i'm allowed to get some, pretty sure.

/NEEDSEXTRAMONEY

lol. had to highlight the word sex.
~~♥♥♥♪

you love me.

today

my day and my night today was both complete shit and marvelous.
last night i must have called and texted juleyin a thousand times but he kept ignoring me. this morning wasn't much better. no hug, no kiss, no words except 'i don't want to see you or talk to you'. this went on till about lunch. at lunch we had a big fight, and by big fight i mean he yelled at me and i apologized over and over, but in the end we worked things out and i couldn't be happier. i'm never taking you for granted ever again baby.
then this afternoon we had a lovely time together and we actually connected really well, it made me so happy and i could really feel us being closer. it's hard to explain, i just felt things i hadn't before.

tonight was supposed to be my pampering night. i was going to wash + treat my hair, wax my eyebrows, paint my nails and finish my pe assignment. i washed and treated my hair, waxed my eyebrows and moisturized my whole body but i didn't do my nails or my assignment and they were the important things :(
oh well, i'll paint my nails tomorrow morning and study all night tomorrow after my workout at the gym. i have a session with like a professional guy to help me, i'll let you know how it goes.

vv haha, putting my earphones through my stretchers like a mad bitch.

cardio routine/new diet

starting this instant.
i need to make some lifestyle changes.
ok - partying less, smoking rather than drinking excessively, more study, more cardio, less fatty food.
mainly the fatty foods. i have such a soft spot for maccas/hungry jacks and they're always so conveniently located. but if i see one and i want some i'll just go hungry.
other main goal is to burn more calories at the gym than what i'm eating each day. i want to lose inches and be skinny and beautiful.

make me look like this.

gym routine

i want to go as often as possible. yesterday was my first session and i'm in love. i went again today after work but didn't stay very long.
so i finish work at 3:30 and genius me didn't realise the gym closes at 4. so i just ran on the treadmill for 10-15 mins, it was still good.
i'm eating quite well except for the lollies, but i'm going to give what i have left to my friends and boyfriend at school tomorrow, they'll appreciate that :) so will my body!!

body image and self-esteem

my weight is getting larger and larger and my self-esteem is getting beyond minuscule.
i've been eating worse than ever, my skin is breaking out because of it, i'm a stress eater and i've been so wrecked and lazy i can't stop eating bad food.
and then after everything that's happened the past two days.. i just want to sit in bed and cry for a few days.

i have never felt worse than i do about myself right now. i always thought of myself as one of those people who call themselves fat because they're just unhappy with their body, but know they're not really fat. then i saw photos of myself etc, and really looked at myself, and i can't believe how truly disgusting i am. i want to be so ridiculously thin that i look sickly, i want my boobs to disappear and i want to be able to see every bone in my body.

i went for my first gym session today and will be going absolutely whenever i can, but that will make me healthy. not stick thin.

repeat of 8 years ago.

can't believe my poor mummy had to go through all this again.
ok so wednesday was my brothers 19th birthday. we had a lovely night, ate some chinese food and some cake and went to bed.

the next morning i wake up at 6am to my brother scared out of his mind saying something's wrong with mum. she was lying in bed, unable to move with pains in her arm and a burning sensation from her chest to her throat.

now eight years ago, (i would have been 6-7 y/o) my brother, father and myself were at a Jehovah's Witness meeting. this was back when we really practiced our religion by the book. during end prayer we received a call from my very distressed mother. i can't really remember what happened except that i was terrified and couldn't stop crying. she then went on to have another two heart attacks over the next day or so, leaving a total of three at this time.

on thursday morning a very similar thing happened. we called the ambulance, and they took her away. i couldn't stop crying and i don't think i've ever been more scared. she was at the tweed hospital for the rest of the day thursday and then thursday night they sent her up to the gold coast hospital for further testing and an operation.
they threaded a tube through her groin all the way to her heart along her artery, injected a dye and took a closer look at her heart. they were going to put another stint in (an operation she had 8 years ago to open up the arteries) but thankfully they didn't need to, the old one was still working. all in all they concluded it was a minor heart attack along with a whole lot of other medical jargon.

we all went up to see her today in southport and to our surprise we were allowed to take her home with us!

my poor, beautiful mum, she was poked and prodded so much and it hurts me so much to see her in pain.

i'm glad she's home, i don't even want to imagine life without her.

vvv the view from mum's room!

a toast to the past

today i hung out with my ex fiance, who obviously used to be a huge part of my life. it was really lovely even if it did feel a little strange. our relationship was way too complicated and strange that it's not worth me explaining it, (and really, i don't really want to) so - simply put, i would have died for him. when i'm on the home computer next i'll upload a photo so you can see how we were together and how different/young i looked. when we started dating i was 12, how crazy is that!

ANYWAY. today was my brother's birthday. i didn't want him to be at home alone and it's sport day so all the periods are stupid and short and pointless. plus i REALLY needed a good sleep, sif it ever happens with my lifestyle. so i got up at six, gave adam my present and went back to bed. next thing i know i'm waking up and it's 11:30am. that makes me so happy. i had planned on going to the gym today but decided not too. i'd be really scared and embarrassed going in by myself and ayla said she'd go in with me on friday after school. i'm so excited! i'll no doubt blog about it friday night afterwards.
i ate so much chinese and birthday cake tonight that my stomach is gargantuan. i actually think i'm the grossest, fattest person alive.

so after my giant sleep i got up, had some cereal and took my morning pills. i had been texting shaun cos i wanted to hang but then he didn't reply for ages -_- stupid cunt. (lol i'm totally kidding)
after ages we finally figured out what we were doing, and as soon as i left the house it started pissing down rain. i met up with the lovely lewis and we walked down to near where shaun lives. i had chronic fucking nostalgia because when we started dating i was too young and couldn't see him. so every night i'd sneak out and walk to his house that same way. i hadn't walked down there since we were together, and we broke up well over a year ago, so that's quite a while. we smoked by the river, talked about the issues between both our relationships and it was really funny to think how we've matured enough to be friends after all this time. we used to hate each other. we also saw a giant pufferfish washed up on the beach. it was alive, but barely. i started crying so lewis took his shoes off, grabbed a stick and put it back in the river. eventually he started swimming, i hope he was ok :(
then after a while i walked home. it was a pretty worthwhile day.

below is a photo of the giant pufferfish and what i looked like today.

GYM UPDATE OMG

mummy went in and signed me up, i now have my key ring with the membership card and i am going tomorrow instead of sport at school! I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!

vvvvv a photo of my membership card, my key chain from paris and my little heart that says 'daisy' ^-^