pretty boring plans, hope i can find some time to go drinking with some cool people. doubt it.
haven't been to a single good party all holidays.
saturday (tomorrow) - i'm working from 9am till 4:30pm and then i'll be going home, playing with my new phone and packing.
saturday night - party at april's, i'm partying with my brother tomorrow night and i think it will be cool lol, i want to see him drunk.
sunday - working from 10am till 3:30pm. then nothing that night, i really want to drink with some of my friends. i'll ask juleyin if he wants to because i think he has sunday night and monday off.
monday - appointment at the optometrist, then i have to get a head x-ray which i'm sort of freaked out about, and then i have to go book my appointment at the piercers. then i might go to the gym, i haven't been in weeks ;/
tuesday - sleep in i suppose, go into town and hang around with juleyin if he's not working, then at 5-5:30 i'm getting my reverse navel done.
wednesday - adam (my brother) is having another surgery. i have to stay home to take care of him when he comes home from surgery around lunch time.
thursday - sleep in then work at 3pm till 8pm.
friday - might go to the city if i can get someone to come with me. if not, gym.
friday night - nothing, someone make plans with me.
Friday, 8 July 2011
things i bought today
once again, i spent about $70 on payday and now i'm left with minimal amounts for the rest of the week.
but i'm not too bothered. i bought a lot of things that i wanted and needed and i won't be doing toooooo much for the rest of the week.
it's looking like i won't be going away these holidays, that's a real shame. i need to get away and i miss brisbane, but the thing is that it's not very exciting now that everyone's over "the scene". i don't have any friends that hang in the city anymore because now we're not all stupid smoking teenagers with bright hair, and when there's no people to hang with the city is actually rather dull. i think i'd rather go stay at someone's house that i really like, and i just wish that were far away from here.
ok that makes no sense. in the simplest way put, i want to get away and have cool people to hang out with and go shopping with.
it's so sad because the coolest people i know are from twitter and blogging, and i have literally no close girl friends, or /any/ friends for that matter around where i live.
there's people at school like sophie and jaz and shawna, but jaz and shawna have this way of making me feel inferior and i think sophie hates me. but that doesn't really matter because i don't like most people.
i like people who party for a living and do stupid things and smoke weed and will go skinny-dipping with me.
that's how i met most of my friends, but now everyone is over all of that and we're left with nothing to do.
now we don't party all the time, we don't hang around shopping centres and smoke weed in parks and dye our hair while drunk and all of that shit - and i'm glad, but i miss having a fun lifestyle and i miss having things to do all the time.
i just have nothing exciting to do anymore. legitimately.
i think that's a clear indication that i should move on to hard drugs because alcohol and weed just don't cut it anymore.
wow so off topic.
ok today i bought:
- two different leave-in treatments. i've been curling my hair lately and i hate how they go all frizzy by the end of the day so i got something i can put through it to keep it healthier and calm. one is a really good one that i can't use too often because it's really oily and the other is basically like a conditioner spray so i can even use that for when my extensions get knotty and i have to detangle them.
- two movies. i was at blockbuster and they had those ex-rental movies for $7 so i bought Case 39, a horror movie i got out with mum one time and i also got Saw II.
- stickers and rhinestones. the stickers are self-explanatory and i bought rhinestones because today i also signed a contract to get my new phone, but i didn't get the actual phone because their system crashed this afternoon. i'll be getting it first thing tomorrow morning when i start work, the lady is so nice and apologised for the system crashing and told me she'd bring my phone to me at work. how crazy is that! oh and the rhinestones are to decorate my phone, like a boss.
- a 990ml bottle of peroxide and a 500gm sachet of blonding powder. i now have a huge supply of bleach so i can keep doing my foils. i'm pretty keen, i'll be re-doing my current ones and adding some more on tuesday probably.
- a new septum ring.
i think that's about it.
here's a photo of all my shit.
but i'm not too bothered. i bought a lot of things that i wanted and needed and i won't be doing toooooo much for the rest of the week.
it's looking like i won't be going away these holidays, that's a real shame. i need to get away and i miss brisbane, but the thing is that it's not very exciting now that everyone's over "the scene". i don't have any friends that hang in the city anymore because now we're not all stupid smoking teenagers with bright hair, and when there's no people to hang with the city is actually rather dull. i think i'd rather go stay at someone's house that i really like, and i just wish that were far away from here.
ok that makes no sense. in the simplest way put, i want to get away and have cool people to hang out with and go shopping with.
it's so sad because the coolest people i know are from twitter and blogging, and i have literally no close girl friends, or /any/ friends for that matter around where i live.
there's people at school like sophie and jaz and shawna, but jaz and shawna have this way of making me feel inferior and i think sophie hates me. but that doesn't really matter because i don't like most people.
i like people who party for a living and do stupid things and smoke weed and will go skinny-dipping with me.
that's how i met most of my friends, but now everyone is over all of that and we're left with nothing to do.
now we don't party all the time, we don't hang around shopping centres and smoke weed in parks and dye our hair while drunk and all of that shit - and i'm glad, but i miss having a fun lifestyle and i miss having things to do all the time.
i just have nothing exciting to do anymore. legitimately.
i think that's a clear indication that i should move on to hard drugs because alcohol and weed just don't cut it anymore.
wow so off topic.
ok today i bought:
- two different leave-in treatments. i've been curling my hair lately and i hate how they go all frizzy by the end of the day so i got something i can put through it to keep it healthier and calm. one is a really good one that i can't use too often because it's really oily and the other is basically like a conditioner spray so i can even use that for when my extensions get knotty and i have to detangle them.
- two movies. i was at blockbuster and they had those ex-rental movies for $7 so i bought Case 39, a horror movie i got out with mum one time and i also got Saw II.
- stickers and rhinestones. the stickers are self-explanatory and i bought rhinestones because today i also signed a contract to get my new phone, but i didn't get the actual phone because their system crashed this afternoon. i'll be getting it first thing tomorrow morning when i start work, the lady is so nice and apologised for the system crashing and told me she'd bring my phone to me at work. how crazy is that! oh and the rhinestones are to decorate my phone, like a boss.
- a 990ml bottle of peroxide and a 500gm sachet of blonding powder. i now have a huge supply of bleach so i can keep doing my foils. i'm pretty keen, i'll be re-doing my current ones and adding some more on tuesday probably.
- a new septum ring.
i think that's about it.
here's a photo of all my shit.
-
I am filled with rage. And hurt.
You festering cunt, the knife was blunt,
So you stuck it slower into my side.
You know nothing of the anguish I’ve endured by the stem of your greed.
Once a whore, always a whore. Your malice has no end.
I long for your demise to my very core,
I’ll express no lament for you, dear friend.
You festering cunt, the knife was blunt,
So you stuck it slower into my side.
You know nothing of the anguish I’ve endured by the stem of your greed.
Once a whore, always a whore. Your malice has no end.
I long for your demise to my very core,
I’ll express no lament for you, dear friend.
holyyyyyy fucking shit
just found this tumblr post i did when i was in hospital at the start of the year. this shit's crazy man.
i don't use tumblr anymore and haven't for months so this was like on one of the first pages.
"So here I am, in the hospital I was born in.
It’s really quite bizarre, I’ve never been in hospital except for the time I dislocated and broke my wrist.
So basically, I have a haggard bout of pneumonia, a chest infection and an ear infection. I was admitted yesterday afternoon, with no warning. I was at the doctors and they sent me straight here! Had to go buy pajamas from target across the street. Last night was pretty rough. I got a really bad temperature, and had to be put on the nebulizer twice because I couldn’t breathe. Juleyin surprised me and came to see me when he heard though, which was amazing. I honestly love that boy to death. He was here again tonight, came up with my mother and brother. The nurse was checking my heart rate and asked him if he could help me get it a little higher ;) Haha! We had maddddd cuddles in my hospital bed and played with all the toys because I’m in the children’s ward. OH, forgot to mention - I’m the only one in the entire ward! Apparently kids don’t get sick anymore. So I’m left to play with all the toys on my own. So fucking keen. The etch n sketch is my favourite so far. Drew Juleyin tonight c;
But medically, I’m still, well, shit. I’ve had like fucking four litres of saline in my IV which makes me need to pee 24/7, plus tonnes of antibiotics - both orally and through my IV. And I have an oxygen tube on because I can’t breathe. My right lung is shot all to hell, and it doesn’t take a doctor to know why. This whole experience has made me think about my lifestyle and the choices I make.
What have I done to myself?"
got me thinking.
i haven't made any changes. lol.
i quit smoking for a week or two after i got out of hospital cause it could like, potentially kill me if i did lol, but then i started up again.
i might quit again soon if i can.
but i'm lazy and a stressed person, i probably won't.
i don't use tumblr anymore and haven't for months so this was like on one of the first pages.
"So here I am, in the hospital I was born in.
It’s really quite bizarre, I’ve never been in hospital except for the time I dislocated and broke my wrist.
So basically, I have a haggard bout of pneumonia, a chest infection and an ear infection. I was admitted yesterday afternoon, with no warning. I was at the doctors and they sent me straight here! Had to go buy pajamas from target across the street. Last night was pretty rough. I got a really bad temperature, and had to be put on the nebulizer twice because I couldn’t breathe. Juleyin surprised me and came to see me when he heard though, which was amazing. I honestly love that boy to death. He was here again tonight, came up with my mother and brother. The nurse was checking my heart rate and asked him if he could help me get it a little higher ;) Haha! We had maddddd cuddles in my hospital bed and played with all the toys because I’m in the children’s ward. OH, forgot to mention - I’m the only one in the entire ward! Apparently kids don’t get sick anymore. So I’m left to play with all the toys on my own. So fucking keen. The etch n sketch is my favourite so far. Drew Juleyin tonight c;
But medically, I’m still, well, shit. I’ve had like fucking four litres of saline in my IV which makes me need to pee 24/7, plus tonnes of antibiotics - both orally and through my IV. And I have an oxygen tube on because I can’t breathe. My right lung is shot all to hell, and it doesn’t take a doctor to know why. This whole experience has made me think about my lifestyle and the choices I make.
What have I done to myself?"
got me thinking.
i haven't made any changes. lol.
i quit smoking for a week or two after i got out of hospital cause it could like, potentially kill me if i did lol, but then i started up again.
i might quit again soon if i can.
but i'm lazy and a stressed person, i probably won't.
Thursday, 7 July 2011
my appearance
hate it, hate it, hate it.
i know that's everyone's job but seriously, i hate that i hate it.
i understand that i'm pretty, i'm not one of those girls who call myself ugly when i'm clearly not, there's just a lot of things i'd like to change.
first things first, my hair.
i am fucking hating it at the moment, everyone says i look way better with dark hair but i think i look weird and mainly just boring.
like here's a photo of me with dark hair;
and here are some photos with me wearing a blonde wig;
like seriously, i think i look so fucking boring with dark hair.
i am going to go blonde and get permanent hair extensions.
i am also going to get more facial piercings.
unfortunately this probably won't be happening until my birthday in february, my mum hates piercings and i won't be legally allowed to get them on my own till february (my sixteenth birthday).
what else can i complain about?
i have no style. the end.
i know that's everyone's job but seriously, i hate that i hate it.
i understand that i'm pretty, i'm not one of those girls who call myself ugly when i'm clearly not, there's just a lot of things i'd like to change.
first things first, my hair.
i am fucking hating it at the moment, everyone says i look way better with dark hair but i think i look weird and mainly just boring.
like here's a photo of me with dark hair;
and here are some photos with me wearing a blonde wig;
like seriously, i think i look so fucking boring with dark hair.
i am going to go blonde and get permanent hair extensions.
i am also going to get more facial piercings.
unfortunately this probably won't be happening until my birthday in february, my mum hates piercings and i won't be legally allowed to get them on my own till february (my sixteenth birthday).
what else can i complain about?
i have no style. the end.
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
i only ever hang out with guys
legitimately.
i would love to have some girl friends, spend some time doing things i want to do, but i don't get along with any girls and whenever i do it always turns into a bitch fight sooner or later and that absolutely sucks.
the thing that i hate about only having male friends, is that i can't do anything with them if juleyin isn't there.
so if he's working or something, i have nothing to do. story of my life.
also, i can never do anything with them at night because juleyin works most nights and if i went out with them it might be a little weird. i'm always the only girl.
today, for instance;
it was me, josh, brodie, juleyin, blake and aaron.
we were like, doing burn-outs in aaron's car, cranking aussie hip-hop and squishing 6 people into his car all day.
i was the only girl, and everyone is really comfortable with me which i love, so we're not afraid to like jokingly hold hands or hug or anything, so to an outsider i must really look like some sort of genre-whore.
some of the guys i hang out with look emo, some of them look gangsta, some look indie and others look either normal or really weird.
i don't know but, i just want someone to have close to me.
for a while i forgot about my desperate need for a best friend, but it's come back now.
i don't mind whether it's a guy or a girl.
i would love to have some girl friends, spend some time doing things i want to do, but i don't get along with any girls and whenever i do it always turns into a bitch fight sooner or later and that absolutely sucks.
the thing that i hate about only having male friends, is that i can't do anything with them if juleyin isn't there.
so if he's working or something, i have nothing to do. story of my life.
also, i can never do anything with them at night because juleyin works most nights and if i went out with them it might be a little weird. i'm always the only girl.
today, for instance;
it was me, josh, brodie, juleyin, blake and aaron.
we were like, doing burn-outs in aaron's car, cranking aussie hip-hop and squishing 6 people into his car all day.
i was the only girl, and everyone is really comfortable with me which i love, so we're not afraid to like jokingly hold hands or hug or anything, so to an outsider i must really look like some sort of genre-whore.
some of the guys i hang out with look emo, some of them look gangsta, some look indie and others look either normal or really weird.
i don't know but, i just want someone to have close to me.
for a while i forgot about my desperate need for a best friend, but it's come back now.
i don't mind whether it's a guy or a girl.
-____________________-
ok you're really starting to annoy me now.
fuck, thought we could get along for once but i'm doubting it.
stop complaining, stop asking for sympathy and go do something with your life.
fuck, thought we could get along for once but i'm doubting it.
stop complaining, stop asking for sympathy and go do something with your life.
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