immediate priorities list ~
- soundwave revolution ticket ($160)
- new blonde clip in extensions ($110)
- GHD hair straightener ($300)
- a good, high resolution camera ($800ish?)
not so immediate because these things will take me forever to save for.
this week coming up i will try and save around $20 of my pay, i hope i can save a bit. then not this week coming up but the one after, (that payday will be the 11th of August) i will save $50 towards my revolution ticket. that will mean i have $70 or more saved up for it. then for the next two weeks i will put away $50 so i should have enough for my revolution ticket by the 25th of August. i fucking better, that's only a month before it's actually on. i fucking hope they don't sell out of tickets.
then it will only take me two weeks after that to have enough for my extensions. so i hope to have bought (ordered) them by the 8th of September. and i bloody hope they come very soon after i order them because i will probably be blonde by then and will need extensions lol. i cannot stand my hair short.
i will just dye the top half/most of my real hair blonde and keep the bottom of my hair dark while i still have dark extensions. then once i get my blonde extensions i'll get the bottom parts of my hair blonde.
i might even have to ask mum if she could lend me some money for these extensions, because i really need them asap.
then it will take me around another 6 weeks or so for my GHD, i'm not too fussed about that because my current hair straightener is fine apart from the fact it damages my hair.
i will then begin saving for my camera. it will take fucking ages, but it will be quite late in the year by the time i have bought all the other things on this list and i can ask mum to put a few hundred in for christmas. and i can put some of the money i get from my family for christmas towards it.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, how i'd love to be earning more. -___-
Saturday, 30 July 2011
priorities and finances for the next week.
oh my god, once my boyfriends birthday is over, (it's on the 4th of August) i can begin to save again.
this week i did not earn much because i only worked one shift, so i couldn't really save anything.
i put away $15 for my phone bill but ended up spending $10 of that, so next week i'll have to put away $25 for it.
i also paid for my gym contribution, and spent $15 on art stuff for my drawings, so that's understandable for where all my money went this week.
i had about $20 left in my account after i paid all my bills and bought my art stuff but i had to put $5 on my go card because i went to brisbane on friday night. then i bought some food and other crap, so now i only have $7 left in my account.
luckily though i have nothing that i will be doing throughout the week, so it's not really a hassle that i have no money.
then when i get paid on thursday night, i have to pay some bills.
$25 goes to my phone bill, then that's $75 left.
$6 for gym, that's $69 left.
i saw a beautiful dress today reduced from around $160 to $30 because it had a tiny lipstick stain on it, if it is still there by friday i will buy it.
then i would have $39 left.
i will probably end up buying beer or weed for the weekend and after that i will put whatever i have left into savings.
i hope i don't spend too much excess money.
it's juleyin's birthday bbq on saturday as well, and you can drink if you want to but i'm not sure if i want to.
i might ask juleyin if he wants to just go halves with a 6 pack of beer, so we'll have a few drinks but i can't be drunk at a bbq with a lot of his family there. that would be humiliating.
i hope i can put away like $25-$30 into my savings.
the week after that i am going to save $50 minimum.
this week i did not earn much because i only worked one shift, so i couldn't really save anything.
i put away $15 for my phone bill but ended up spending $10 of that, so next week i'll have to put away $25 for it.
i also paid for my gym contribution, and spent $15 on art stuff for my drawings, so that's understandable for where all my money went this week.
i had about $20 left in my account after i paid all my bills and bought my art stuff but i had to put $5 on my go card because i went to brisbane on friday night. then i bought some food and other crap, so now i only have $7 left in my account.
luckily though i have nothing that i will be doing throughout the week, so it's not really a hassle that i have no money.
then when i get paid on thursday night, i have to pay some bills.
$25 goes to my phone bill, then that's $75 left.
$6 for gym, that's $69 left.
i saw a beautiful dress today reduced from around $160 to $30 because it had a tiny lipstick stain on it, if it is still there by friday i will buy it.
then i would have $39 left.
i will probably end up buying beer or weed for the weekend and after that i will put whatever i have left into savings.
i hope i don't spend too much excess money.
it's juleyin's birthday bbq on saturday as well, and you can drink if you want to but i'm not sure if i want to.
i might ask juleyin if he wants to just go halves with a 6 pack of beer, so we'll have a few drinks but i can't be drunk at a bbq with a lot of his family there. that would be humiliating.
i hope i can put away like $25-$30 into my savings.
the week after that i am going to save $50 minimum.
Tuesday, 26 July 2011
crazy thought
i was showering tonight and a really weird scenario popped into my head.
i was thinking if i moved away, somewhere where i would never see anyone i knew again.
i was thinking that right before i left, i would fuck everyone i have ever wanted to, i would take so many drugs and i would be a complete and utter slut and ruin relationships just because i could.
then i would leave and start over and no one would know any different.
i have no idea where that came from. it's the best thing, to just fantasize about things you'd like to do but will probably never happen and in reality they wouldn't really work out.
i like to play things out in my head, then just imagine them.
the world inside my head is much better than this one, but i'm afraid sometimes i have difficulty distinguishing the two.
i was thinking if i moved away, somewhere where i would never see anyone i knew again.
i was thinking that right before i left, i would fuck everyone i have ever wanted to, i would take so many drugs and i would be a complete and utter slut and ruin relationships just because i could.
then i would leave and start over and no one would know any different.
i have no idea where that came from. it's the best thing, to just fantasize about things you'd like to do but will probably never happen and in reality they wouldn't really work out.
i like to play things out in my head, then just imagine them.
the world inside my head is much better than this one, but i'm afraid sometimes i have difficulty distinguishing the two.
Monday, 25 July 2011
dream diary
omg so good.
ok for shits and giggles, ie no reason at all, i decided to hop on a plane to america.
the plane landed and i was in the airport in LA. next to the airport was a train station, and i was about to get on a train and go to another city but then i saw my friend blake.
he was with some friends, as he had been in america for a few weeks longer than me and they were all pretty cool. they were all male.
i told him i was thinking about going to another city and he was all "hell no, LA is where the party scene is at" but without that black tone of voice. i told him that i would stay in LA with him and that we should go out that night.
then i asked where they were staying. then they said "what, you don't sleep here, you don't live here, you just stay up all night and keep walking around with your duffel bag."
fuck i wish i could just do that.
then we met up with some other guys who had two trashy looking girls with them. i didn't like the look of them but i was happy to have some female company (that's odd, i hate women). the men then somehow stripped me so all i was wearing was a t-shirt, and started throwing me around, catching me and then throwing me to the next person. it sounds violent and despicable but it wasn't, it was all in good fun, i was just worried about my bum bum showing. then one of the guys was just carrying me, it was kinda cute. then he stroked my head and said "hey, you have real hair!" it wasn't till then that i realised i was blonde in this dream, with permanent hair extensions. they looked really good and even though you could tell my hair was dead my hair looked awesome. i can't wait to look like a barbie again.
so anyway, then i got changed into a mini, tight cheetah print dress and black heels. i looked so stereotypical slut and i don't care i looked hot. i also had lovely, smokey dark eye makeup on and omg. i would fuck me. i was also a lot skinnier than i am, and WHY CAN'T I LOOK LIKE THAT IN REAL LIFE? we got to a club, and it was like a private room in the back of it, almost like an apartment. there were cute black leather couches and rest rooms and a beaded doorway that headed back out to the club.
we sat around drinking fancy, fruity drinks, and i can't remember too much except that at one stage i fell over one of the couches backwards and ended up upside down. woopsies, i'm being mighty slutty in this dream.
then i hopped back on a plane back to australia to work one shift. (?!?!?!?!) afterwards i came home to wash my clothes and dye my regrowth before going back to america.
mum came into the bathroom while i was dying my hair and was like "oh hi sweetie! what are you doing home? how was your friends place?" and i was like "lol wtf i was overseas."
then after doing everything i needed to do i went back to the states and stayed there party-hopping for about a week.
when i am older i am going to do this for like a month i swear.
ok for shits and giggles, ie no reason at all, i decided to hop on a plane to america.
the plane landed and i was in the airport in LA. next to the airport was a train station, and i was about to get on a train and go to another city but then i saw my friend blake.
he was with some friends, as he had been in america for a few weeks longer than me and they were all pretty cool. they were all male.
i told him i was thinking about going to another city and he was all "hell no, LA is where the party scene is at" but without that black tone of voice. i told him that i would stay in LA with him and that we should go out that night.
then i asked where they were staying. then they said "what, you don't sleep here, you don't live here, you just stay up all night and keep walking around with your duffel bag."
fuck i wish i could just do that.
then we met up with some other guys who had two trashy looking girls with them. i didn't like the look of them but i was happy to have some female company (that's odd, i hate women). the men then somehow stripped me so all i was wearing was a t-shirt, and started throwing me around, catching me and then throwing me to the next person. it sounds violent and despicable but it wasn't, it was all in good fun, i was just worried about my bum bum showing. then one of the guys was just carrying me, it was kinda cute. then he stroked my head and said "hey, you have real hair!" it wasn't till then that i realised i was blonde in this dream, with permanent hair extensions. they looked really good and even though you could tell my hair was dead my hair looked awesome. i can't wait to look like a barbie again.
so anyway, then i got changed into a mini, tight cheetah print dress and black heels. i looked so stereotypical slut and i don't care i looked hot. i also had lovely, smokey dark eye makeup on and omg. i would fuck me. i was also a lot skinnier than i am, and WHY CAN'T I LOOK LIKE THAT IN REAL LIFE? we got to a club, and it was like a private room in the back of it, almost like an apartment. there were cute black leather couches and rest rooms and a beaded doorway that headed back out to the club.
we sat around drinking fancy, fruity drinks, and i can't remember too much except that at one stage i fell over one of the couches backwards and ended up upside down. woopsies, i'm being mighty slutty in this dream.
then i hopped back on a plane back to australia to work one shift. (?!?!?!?!) afterwards i came home to wash my clothes and dye my regrowth before going back to america.
mum came into the bathroom while i was dying my hair and was like "oh hi sweetie! what are you doing home? how was your friends place?" and i was like "lol wtf i was overseas."
then after doing everything i needed to do i went back to the states and stayed there party-hopping for about a week.
when i am older i am going to do this for like a month i swear.
never, ever happy
and i'm sick to death of it. it's mostly when i'm at home.
not that being at home is bad, i love it and i barely even go out anymore, it's just being alone i think.
but at the same time, i mostly like to be on my own because people always hate me and they suck.
lately i've been hanging out with some really lovely people though. by lovely i mean cunts that are particularly funny and do fun things, things that i like to do, instead of boring shit that everyone else i know does.
i'm not making any sense, i never know what i'm talking about and i hate myself.
the other night my boyfriend also basically told me he's losing feelings for me. he says it's hard to love someone who's always snappy and always angry.
i try so hard. he doesn't see it and i feel horrible that i even have to try, but my mind is just so set in stone.
i get it from my father, and i hate that because i do not get along with my dad at ALL.
i'm so stubborn, and i have OCD with certain things and i will yell at anyone if they mess those things up. for instance, doing the dishes or really anything that involves the kitchen. man i sound like a stereotypical woman.
but seriously, it's so bad and it's what sparks most of the fights between my boyfriend and i when he's at my house.
i hate when people cook things at my house and don't clean up, or don't clean up the right way. or when they leave the toaster on, or the microwave on. things like that. hate hate hate.
i'm also just incredibly snappy because i'm always on edge. apart from my diagnosed anxiety i also have horrible self esteem and always think everything is directed at me.
then if i'm upset, which is pretty much always, i'm just generally rude and overly sarcastic to my boyfriend.
i hate that about myself, well i hate almost everything about myself, but i just wish i was a kind, decent person.
this rant has made no sense at all.
not that being at home is bad, i love it and i barely even go out anymore, it's just being alone i think.
but at the same time, i mostly like to be on my own because people always hate me and they suck.
lately i've been hanging out with some really lovely people though. by lovely i mean cunts that are particularly funny and do fun things, things that i like to do, instead of boring shit that everyone else i know does.
i'm not making any sense, i never know what i'm talking about and i hate myself.
the other night my boyfriend also basically told me he's losing feelings for me. he says it's hard to love someone who's always snappy and always angry.
i try so hard. he doesn't see it and i feel horrible that i even have to try, but my mind is just so set in stone.
i get it from my father, and i hate that because i do not get along with my dad at ALL.
i'm so stubborn, and i have OCD with certain things and i will yell at anyone if they mess those things up. for instance, doing the dishes or really anything that involves the kitchen. man i sound like a stereotypical woman.
but seriously, it's so bad and it's what sparks most of the fights between my boyfriend and i when he's at my house.
i hate when people cook things at my house and don't clean up, or don't clean up the right way. or when they leave the toaster on, or the microwave on. things like that. hate hate hate.
i'm also just incredibly snappy because i'm always on edge. apart from my diagnosed anxiety i also have horrible self esteem and always think everything is directed at me.
then if i'm upset, which is pretty much always, i'm just generally rude and overly sarcastic to my boyfriend.
i hate that about myself, well i hate almost everything about myself, but i just wish i was a kind, decent person.
this rant has made no sense at all.
Saturday, 23 July 2011
i am no slut
and i'm fucking sick of people thinking i am.
i'm an open person, so i can talk about sex to people.
the majority of my friends are guys because most girls i try to be friends with always end up being bitchy and disown me, or they'll be particularly boring and won't want to things i like to do.
because in my spare time the main things i do is drink or smoke up with friends (most of those friends being guys) then i'm automatically labelled a slut.
and i'm comfortable in my own skin, so i can be naked around people, like getting changed in front of people or playing strip poker at parties.
i hate that people, mainly girls, think of me as someone with no self respect. i wish i could be one of those people who say they "don't care what other people think" but i fucking well do, but by the same token i will not change myself to please other people.
it makes me so upset. i hate people, i just want to be able to be myself without being judged and labelled.
i'm an open person, so i can talk about sex to people.
the majority of my friends are guys because most girls i try to be friends with always end up being bitchy and disown me, or they'll be particularly boring and won't want to things i like to do.
because in my spare time the main things i do is drink or smoke up with friends (most of those friends being guys) then i'm automatically labelled a slut.
and i'm comfortable in my own skin, so i can be naked around people, like getting changed in front of people or playing strip poker at parties.
i hate that people, mainly girls, think of me as someone with no self respect. i wish i could be one of those people who say they "don't care what other people think" but i fucking well do, but by the same token i will not change myself to please other people.
it makes me so upset. i hate people, i just want to be able to be myself without being judged and labelled.
Friday, 22 July 2011
purchases for today.
+ one polo shirt
+ one birthday present
+ one "FUCK OFF" stamp
+ a lot of food
+ one tube of repairing toner
yay.
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