school is no longer important to me~~

legit.

i have decided to become a pot head and stop trying.
not really but maybe then i won't be so motherfucking stressed every second of every day.
i've had so many exams, and assignments, and everything in between over the past few weeks.
i'm such a mess every day and i can't take it. it's all school and home issues.
we also got our subject selection sheets etc yesterday, i told my mum what i wanted to do and she raged at me saying they were shit subjects and i won't make it to uni. i couldn't stop crying.

i want to do:
- drama
- advanced english
- modern history
- software design and development
- textiles + design
- biology

i am very happy with these but upset that i won't get any free periods.
there's so many other classes that i want to do but they don't count towards an ATAR so there's really no point in me doing them.

can next year just come now?

merch~♥☆♡★

is my new addiction.
my most treasured thing in the world.

i always yell at juleyin because he's addicted to looking at cars to buy online even when he can't afford some, but now i've found my addiction. i can't stop looking at all this amazing merch and how i want it all. i get to work this monday as it's a public holiday - (fuck yes double time and a half!) and with my extra money i am definitely buying some baseball tees and whatever else i can afford. i'm so keen.

miserable.

so so sick of this!
every day, i basically want to die. i'm not sure when my life became so pointless and irrelevant, or when i lost my ambition, but this year has been a total disaster and i'm ready for the next chapter to begin. i want to move houses, i need a bigger room, bigger bed and new things.
i want to be in senior school, study things i like and actually have priorities. legit i get no enjoyment from any of my classes, except maybe ist - but they're all so gay and boring and uninteresting to me. i should just start getting really grilled before school so it's at least a little interesting.
mostly though, i want to be 16. i'll be earning more money per hour, and i'll be receiving youth allowance off centerlink. with more money, i'll be able to get the things i want quicker, and save more. i'll also be able to get all the piercings i want which is a giant and wonderful thing. and, my mother will have no excuse to not let me out whenever i want. and i'll be driving. watch out pedestrians!!~

i suppose i'm just sick and tired of being so goddamn depressed all the time. i know i'm putting a lot of pressure on next year to be amazing, but more than anything i just want this year to be over.

friday the 3rd of june.

i.e. yesterday.
it went splendidly! i had my final exam, science, and i actually didn't find it difficult at all. i finished sooooo early and had to kill about 40 minutes so i drew on a piece of paper and wrote t.mills and jeffree star lyrics all over it. picture is down tharrrrr ↓
i could not be happier. i should get some of my results back by next week, yaaaaaayy. if they're good, hello piercings! (they'll be good, it's kay guys ;D)

i'm getting my reverse navel but i just really hope i'm allowed to get my tongue done. probs not.
mufti went lovely, i felt super cute - i had a red, white and black theme going on.

we skipped last period because there was no reason to go to science after a two hour science exam, and ayla had left so i'd just be lonely basically. so we went to tweed city early, and i got my vans!! they were $10 cheaper than i thought, which was awesome because i then had extra money for the night. then zac took me home, i love him so much we never hang out anymore but lately we have been, i've missed him so much he's actually the best person to be around and we have so much in common, we just get along really well. always have.

then i spent god knows how long looking at merch online and have decided i need some whitechapel shirts and i also need a nice band jumper. if i ever have spare money this is what i'm spending it on. here's some of my favourites that i found: this Miss May I hoodie, this baseball tee, another baseball tee, this Whitechapel jumper, and this amazing Whitechapel zip up,.
fuck, i want them all so bad and so much more.

then i finally got ready and my brother dropped me down to juleyin's and we walked over to the restaurant. mostly everyone was there before us so at least we weren't waiting for ages.
i ordered a chicken tostada for dinner, it was so yummy and it didn't feel too rich or bad for me. it was pretty fresh, actually. i was so happy to see rhi as well, it totally made my night. i love her so much and i hadn't even seen her since she got back from america.

then when we were leaving the restaurant something really weird/scary happened. juleyin, josh, luke, rhi and i were walking through the fire exits of showcase and then we got to a door that was jammed. it was the only way out so juleyin had to kick it open. a security guard was on the other side when we got it open and as soon as he saw juleyin he grabbed him and started trying to "rough him up". i was so scared and the security guy was yelling at us so loud and swearing more than i bloody do! he kept trying to hit juleyin and he was just like 'uh what the fuck?' luke, rhi and i were out side and the security guy was in the fire exit with juleyin and josh, then he turned to me and said 'don't you go anywhere you little cunt' i was beside myself, he was literally the worst person i've ever met. then luke just grabbed me and said we had to run but they'd be fine. i was so scared about juleyin but we ran, and a few minutes later juleyin called luke saying they got away and to meet them at cold rock where the others from dinner were. i ran up to juleyin and his mouth was bleeding - that cunt had punched him in the face and there was a massive gash in his inner lip, srs you have no idea how deep it was! i felt so horrible, but i was very proud of him for sticking up for us. the security guard also started punching josh in the stomach, chest and back when he was doing absolutely everything he asked. ugh i was so mad and wanted to kill that guy.

so we got some icecream and went to todd's for the party. juleyin went with hayden and i went with zac. i hadn't planned on drinking but people kept feeding me shots and i ended up pretty drunk, but i'm so proud of myself i didn't mix drugs and alcohol i stuck to one, that's the reason i always get so fucked up - i'll already be drunk and then someone will give me weed.
then after a while hayden drove us back to my house, it was only a bit after 12 when we got home and mum asked me to be home as early as i could so i'm very happy about that. i also took my makeup off and brushed my teeth before i went to bed even though i was sooooo drunk, so proud!!

this morning i woke up at like 7:30am and couldn't get back to sleep for some reason. i was so shocked i didn't have a hangover, and then i realised i was still drunk - hahaha! i drank lots of water and watched skins with breakfast. then juleyin got called into work and i've been doing chores since then slash writing this!

here's some photos of my drawing after my exam, what i wore to school yesterday, what i looked like at dinner and assorted photos from the party and dinner.

my beautiful boyfriend!

can't believe how lucky i am to have him. it's our one year anniversary on sunday night, and we're going up to surfers to have a beautiful, fancy dinner and then go for a stroll and get icecream n_n
don't laugh at me, i love sunsets, chocolates, red wine and all other things corny. i'm a hopeless romantic!
i wasn't when juleyin and i first started dating though. i was all creepy and damages, but i love him so much, and he's seriously all i want in a partner. i hope we stay together for a long time, i don't know what i'd do if we broke up. once i finish my hsc i just want to move to brisbane and live with him and brodie.
and helllllloooo uni! ♥
here's some photos from the other night when he stayed over haha :3

tomorrow

is going to be the best day! so many good reasons why too ;)

ok, obvious reason; it's friday ♪♪♪♪
it's also mufti, which is lovely because i never get to feel pretty at school and it'll avoid me having to get changed afterwards ♡
it's also the last of my exams. i'll post about how they're going a bit later.
it's also payday, which means i can buy my new vans that i've been waiting for eeeeeee! ^-^ ★
then i get to dress up, go out to dinner and then party afterwards! sooooooo keen!

kay here's the plan.
go to school looking cute (i'll probably post a picture tomorrow and let you know how my day went), then do my two hour science exam (ew), then science last period (how ironic), then go to tweed city.
trust me, there is nothing and nowhere i hate spending time more than tweed city, particularly since i started working there - but they have a city beach there and i want my vans.
then i'll get some cash out and raceeeee back to the bus stop and hopefully get home relatively early. i'll then relax, and get ready for dinner. i also must remember to paint my nails and moisturize.
then i'll either catch a bus or get my brother to drive me to juleyin's house around 6 o'clock. we're meeting everyone at the aztec for dinner at around 6:30, and we'll just walk there from juleyin's - it's literally down the road.
then after dinner we're going for desert at cold rock (an icecream place), and then off to todd's for the after party! if it's not too late we can get a bus there, if not juleyin's dad can drive us.
i'll have basically $00 so i don't know what i'm supposed to do for drinks or smokes.
also, mum seems to think she wants to pick us up from the party but i want to be there for quite a while and she doesn't get that, but she better.

i'll try my hardest to take many photos tomorrow/tomorrow night.

omg me blonde haha

found some old photos from around the time of my most previous post, and one random photo of me with really short, brown hair. in order from oldest to most recent.

ps lol check out the gashes in my wrist in some of these photos.