gigs

so many, so excited!!
i just missed out on destroy music, which i'm totally devo'd about. my good friend couldn't go anymore because she had no way home, so she was going to sell me her ticket for $30. it's on this saturday night and mum said no because i have work sunday and she doesn't want me going to brisbane at night :'( i would have argued more but she's just out of hospital and i don't want to stir anything more than i have to. i looked at the lineup for soundwave revolution and it looks so amazing. i really only want to go because of whitechapel, they're one of my favourite bands and i cannot die until i've seen them, suicide silence, t.mills and the black dahlia murder live. tickets are around $170 which isn't that much, and juleyin said he would go with me even though he doesn't like that music! :3 i'm so excited! it's gonna be so hard to save for though, lol. might ask mum to pay for it and i'll pay her back? /good idea daisy! not sure if mummy will though.. :/
i'll also have to start saving soon for splendour in the grass. not sure when it is exactly, but juleyin's friend hayden wants us to come with him and camp out, sounds like so much fun. it's around $300 so i better start saving asap. wow. i'm spending $500 on two music festivals. LOL.

ok i have $27 left in my account at the moment. $6 is for mum for the gym. then i'll have $20 left and i want to give that to mum for my vans now, otherwise i'll spend it. or i suppose i could withdraw it and keep it in my money tin. then on friday when i get paid i'll put another $30 in and then mum and i will pay $50 each for my vans :) i need them for school so mum said she would go halves with me. except then i'll only have like, $15 for the rest of the week. and i'm going out friday night and sunday night :l i'm fucked. but shoes for school are a priority, and i'll wear them at work and on the weekends too so it'll be worth it. i'm not really bothered that i won't have money for drugs or drinks at the party, just that i won't have much money for dinner etc or any money for sunday night. (next sunday night is mine and juleyin's one year anniversary and we're going out) but i presume he'll be paying that night.
i don't know. money is just a big issue at the moment.

the future

is always so fucking close ahead! it's terrifying me, and i want it so badly but at the same time i need more time.
i have no idea what my life will be like next year.
i think it's fairly safe to say that juleyin and i will still be together by next year, and that's where it starts to get complicated. he has no idea what he wants to do when he leaves school, but he knows that he definitely wants to go to uni. there's a high probability that he will move back to brisbane for this, and get a house with his best friend, brodie. i always said i wanted to move in with them and do my hsc up in brisbane, but i somehow don't think that will happen. i want to focus all of my attention on my studies, and even though i'd have the opportunity to go to a better school up there, i don't think i'd be focused living with the two funniest men alive. also, i'd be the most homesick bitch in the world.
but i'm not sure if juleyin and i could survive that long distance again.
i suppose we could take turns going up or down and staying the night like we used to, but it would be so hard, going from seeing him everyday to that.
if we can stay together for another two years (which i sincerely hope so because he's the most amazing man i've ever met and never want to lose him), then i'll be moving to brisbane after i finish my hsc and will live with juleyin and brodie while i am at university. this is my plan, at least. it would be so perfect and i seriously hope so dearly that this all works out.

juleyin is the first person i've been with that i can realistically see myself being with for quite some time, and the amazing thing is that it could very well happen. it's our one year anniversary next sunday, i'm so happy and so excited and vow to make our next year a whole lot better and easier.

i'm just hating year ten something fierce. it is actually the most pointless year, considering that everyone has to stay till they're 17 and i'm going on to years eleven and twelve anyway. the only subject i'm really struggling with is math. i'm in advanced and i'm fairly sure i've failed every test this year. i'm paying $50 a week for tutoring which is helping, but it's not like i'm not trying to do well. i have an exam tomorrow which i'm certain i'll fail but i've been studying for hours, regardless. then all of next week i have exams. they're going to be so difficult and i'll probably fail the math one, but it's ok i'll still pass as long as i don't get any n awards. which i won't because i'm a good student, i'm just naturally bad at math.

sigh, only half a year left of this utterly pointless grade.